How I ruined everything forever

On Saturday, Jonathan and I ran to the store. We had a gift certificate, so we were excited to make some completely guilt-free purchases. As we were checking out, I noticed a cob of popcorn. I love popcorn, so even though Jonathan hates it, we bought it.

Last night Jonathan suggested we pop the cob of popcorn. So I did. Unfortunately, popcorn on the cob doesn't tend to pop very evenly. The directions said to wait until popping slowed to one every two to three seconds. So I waited until it slowed to one every second. Then I removed the bag from the microwave. An acrid smell filled the kitchen.

I dumped the half properly popped, half burnt popcorn into a bowl and took it into the room where we were watching Firefly. The acrid smell followed. And it turns out that, unfortunately, the burnt smell and taste transferred to the white popcorn also. It was the worst tasting popcorn I have ever had, including the nasty movie theater popcorn that tastes like chemical butter.

We set the bowl aside and kept watching for awhile. Soon it became apparent that 1) we needed to eat something else to get the burnt taste out of our mouths and 2) we should probably move the bowl of popcorn to a different room, because it smelled really bad.

We lit a candle, threw away the popcorn, and ate some mints, but it was to no avail. The popcorn lingered. As we went to sleep, Jonathan asked why I had "ruined everything forever". As is so often the case, it seemed like a good idea at the time.