Uncomfortable

If you know me well, you know that I could be described as a bit of a prude (if you're feeling a little uncharitable). You also know that I'm fairly spineless. So keep that in mind as you read about my uncomfortable experience at the outlet malls on Friday.

I was looking for some nylons because, despite their cost, they are easily destroyed by the slightest touch. A sales associate came up behind me, and my husband suggested that I should ask her for help. I declined. She interjected herself in the conversation. "I can help you! Were you looking at the full length nylons or the thigh highs?"

At that point, I wanted her to go away, but I also wanted her to feel useful. So I asked what I thought would be an easy question that would allow me to return to browsing. "How well do the thigh highs stay up?"

Unfortunately, this was the wrong question to ask. She decided to draw a comparison. "They have this thing in them that keeps them up. Kind of like that thing in some bras. Actually, here, let me show you." She then pulled up her shirt and pulled down her bra and offered it for me to feel.

Yikes. Spinelessness won out over prudishness. But I was very uncomfortable.

Mind the Gap

As you might expect, my poor visualization leads to some interesting wrapping jobs. It also has led to a certain proficiency in using tiny pieces of wrapping paper to fill the gaps left by my inability to visualize whether a certain amount of wrapping paper will be enough to reach all the way around the box.

Exhibit A: I don't even know what happened. There was a triangular gap.


Exhibit B: This one almost made it, but no amount of pulling could stretch the paper enough. I gave up and added a strip.



Exhibit C: Yeah. At least I didn't have to just tape a rectangle over the entire side.

Ex-friend

I'm guessing the friendship mentioned in this letter to BYU's newspaper didn't last long after printing. I took out the name of the writer because I don't need searches for her to link to my blog.

Just yesterday, I received a wedding invitation from a friend who had been home a mere two weeks from his mission. I initially attributed the hilarity of his situation to jetlag; however, upon learning they had only known one another 11 days, I realized his situation is an indicator of a much more serious epidemic here on the campus of Brigham Young University.

Students are getting married before they know themselves, let alone the person they plan to wed. These people are insecure. They are weak and needy. They are in love with the idea of love rather than the person with whom they claim they would like to spend eternity.

[Name removed]
Mesa, Ariz.

Glitter, not gold

So Jonathan and I bought this Christmas tree.


It looks really lovely, right? (You don't have to answer if you disagree.) We particularly liked the way the base looks. So we bought our tree, brought it home, and opened up the box. Apparently glitter doesn't really show up in photographs. The design on the base was the same, but it was made out of a thick white and green glitter paste caked onto a metal frame. Not attractive. Fortunately, it was easy enough to pull the frame off, so our base just has four lighted, design-less sides. We laughed it off and went on our way.


The glitter demons apparently weren't done with us yet, though. We ordered a new credit card, so now I'm authorized to spend our money also. Hooray! The design looked nice enough--black and gray stripes.



The cards came in the mail today. They are, indeed, striped black and gray, but they also have glitter all over.

All that glitters does not show up in pictures.

The End.

"Reality"

This is a pretty entertaining clip. It's kind of dry for the first few minutes, but then it really picks up the pace.

RIP

Sometimes Jonathan and I disagree. One subject that we just can't seem to see eye-to-eye on is socks. I think as long as it covers most of my foot, it still can be worn (maybe not to the airport, though). Jonathan thinks half of my socks should be thrown out just because they have tiny holes in the heels.

Last night one of my favorite pairs of socks was forcibly retired. I showed it to Jonathan to illustrate that despite some minor missing pieces of fabric, they were perfectly good at covering my feet. He stole them off my feet and ripped them up. I accused him of ruining my socks. He said they were pre-ruined.

I think he owes me a new pair of socks.

Actual exchange from last night

Jonathan: What's that?
Me: That's my homework.
Jonathan: What is it?
Me: It's a graph that I made.
Jonathan: It's ugly.
Me: Go back to sleep.