Kids say what now?

I've been asked to teach the six-year-olds in my ward. Today was my first week. The last time I had any significant interaction with a six-year-old was when Julia was six, which was seven years ago. Needless to say, I wasn't quite sure what to do with them, and class did not stay on task. Here are some of the things we talked about.

Bird-eating tarantulas. One kid, who told me his name was Paul and then later told me his name was Ethan, apparently has a bird-eating spider living in the tree outside his house. It bit his cat, and one time he watched it eat a bird.

Six-foot-tall purple geese with eggs as big as a child's head.

What's a bulldog's favorite activity? Bowling (bulling).

One of the kids wanted to play a game. He explained it thusly: He would draw three cups on the board. Somebody would choose a cup. He would pretend to look under the cup and say whether there it concealed an imaginary ball.

It wasn't all random non sequiturs, though. Ethan/Paul asked an important question.

"If a kid falls down the stairs, will they die?"

I said probably not, but it depends on how far they fall and how hard the ground is. Every child then piped in with a story about the time they fell down the stairs and did not die, including Paul/Ethan.

Good thing I have the opportunity to mold young minds.