Police Beat

As many of you already know, the police beat is frequently the best part of BYU's daily newspaper (along with the typos). Here's a gem from today.

Jan. 14: A female student reported a male who made her feel uncomfortable at the WSC [Wilkinson Student Center] by asking her what she was doing there.

That's good. I'm glad we have our strapping police officers to protect us from people who talk to us in public buildings and ask us non-threatening things. Seriously, I wouldn't call the police for anything less than an explicit threat. Not for being asked what I was doing. Not for being asked for money. Not for being asked for a favor, or even for a more uncomfortable proposition. In Wales, I didn't even think about calling the police when I was asked to examine a newly-released from jail drunk man's knife wound.

I wonder if she works as a receptionist. (Post with the same date)

Jan. 14: A suspicious male entered the Center for Service and Learning and asked a female receptionist about the enrollment on campus and the purpose of the building they were in. The receptionist thought his questions were suspicious and reported him to police. No further action was taken.

Maybe she just really wanted to make the police beat but didn't want to commit a crime?

How to Occupy a Sunday

1. Go to church.
2. Eat lunch.
3. Study scriptures.
4. Check time. Only 1:00? This is going to be a long day.
5. Check facebook.
6. Check email.
7. Play tetris.
8. Check facebook again.
9. Read about Frida Kahlo, her husband, and various other subjects linked from their pages.
10. Play the Papa H game.
11. Make dinner. Even though you're bored, do not follow the trying-to-seem healthy and upscale Pasta Roni directions. No, I will not stir constantly for 18 minutes. Yes, it turned out fine.
12. Play the Papa H game some more.
13. Check email and facebook one more time.
14. Post vaguely whiney facebook status about being bored. Be disgusted with yourself for perpetuating something you disapprove of on principle (namely, vaguely whiney facebook statuses).
15. Check time again. 6:15? Why is time going so slowly?
16. Pluck eyebrows. Floss teeth.
17. Check facebook. Check email.
18. Try to think of a decent blog post idea. Fail. Decide to write a list of what you've done today instead.
19. Write dumb blog post.
20. Check time again. 7:10? You've got to be kidding me.

The Further Adventures of Jonathan

Remember how sometimes Jonathan talks in his sleep? And it's generally confusing and amusing for all? Yeah, it still is.

On Friday morning Jonathan woke up.

Me: Good morning.
Jonathan: Where are the pop-ups?
M: What?
J: The pop-ups! Where are they?
M: I don't know what you're talking about.
J: Where are the pop-ups? We just got them at a warehouse recently! There was a bride, and a groom, and a wedding cake statue thingy.
M: What warehouse?
J: Ugh! Fine, maybe it was Wal-mart, but that's basically a warehouse.
M: OK, I still don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to get up now.

At this point, he decided to give me a taste of my own medicine. If I was going to obstinately refuse to understand, so was he.

Jonathan: Up? What's up?
Me: Go back to sleep.

The Genre that Shouldn't Exist

The other day I was at Barnes and Noble when I found myself near this lovely sign. Since when does teen paranormal romance deserve an entire section of the bookstore? It's not really a legitimate genre. It seems a little too derivative for talented writers to aspire to, especially since I'm pretty sure we can all name the one series that kick-started all the others. Worst of all, even if there are some really great books in there, I can't ever read them because I simply couldn't live with myself if I shopped in the teen paranormal romance section. Bummer.