Sleep Talk

Or, two vignettes from the life of Jonathan and Rachel

Jonathan (extremely agitated): What are you doing?! The children are more important than the dog! Everyone knows this!
Me: We don't have children or a dog.
Jonathan: Oh. We're good then. (Rolls over and goes back to sleep.)

~

Jonathan: OK, you go fight the aliens now.
Me: You don't make any sense.
Jonathan: Who fights the aliens?
Me: Not me.
Jonathan: Yes, you.