Inherent

I seem to have some inherent expression or quality that speaks to people. It says, quite plainly, "Talk to me. Tell me your problems. Ask me about my life," and whatever this quality is, it speaks more clearly than any hints I give to the contrary.

I have a roommate who will regularly come talk to me about the problems in her life or the experiences she had growing up. She will talk for fifteen or twenty minutes while I work on a timed take-home test. She will talk at 1:00 in the morning when the only thing I want is to finish my assignment and go to bed. I have tried hinting that these are not really the best times for me. "What are you doing?" "Oh, just rushing to finish this." "Oh, OK. Let me tell you about my life."

Today I had just settled down on campus to study fifty pages of material for a quiz I had in 45 minutes. My fiance's home teacher came over. "Do you mind if I sit here?" "Go ahead. I'm just studying for a quiz I have in 45 minutes." He sat down and started chatting with me.

I was once on the bus with earbuds in when the woman next to me engaged me in conversation, of a sort. She told me her life story and wound up by advising me to eat fewer meals and snacks.

At times like these, my answers tend to be as close to monosyllabic as possible, and don't always involve real words. I don't really respond to anything they say, my tone is neutral, and I never contribute my own information to the conversation. I never make eye contact or even look in the general direction of my conversational partner. My voice, body language, and the social conventions I follow say "Leave me alone." But apparently that elusive quality of mine screams "Talk to me!!" Too bad. I just want to be antisocial in peace.