In which we all go to the UK

I just got back from two weeks in the UK. It was magical! We did a LOT. Seriously, we rented a car, and we put over 3000 miles on it (thank goodness for unlimited mileage!). This is quite a lot, considering that the longest distance between two points is 600 miles.

The two defining characteristics of our stay were tiny roads and enormous monuments. The roads were only wide enough for one car in lots of places, or two cars practically touching, but that didn't stop them from being two way roads. The theory (and practice) is that when you meet somebody going the opposite way on the 25% grade, one-car-wide road, one of you (probably the one who was going up) reverses back until you come to the passing place, a tiny pullover area that allows the car who was going down to pass you. Now, you might think that this means people drive at a slow and cautious pace. You would be wrong. The speed limit on these tiny lanes is 60 miles per hour. While we went about 30-40 on most, native drivers zoomed past us at probably the speed limit. Now we know where the Brits acquire their nerves of steel. After driving on those roads, anything seems like a piece of cake.

Here are the highlights (and occasional lowlights) of the trip, as recorded in my journal:

Day 1 (Stonehenge and Bath)
British yogurt. When I had it last time, I loved it. It is completely different from American yogurt. When Greek yogurt started to become a thing, I convinced myself that it was the way they have yogurt in Britain, and tried to force myself to love it. After having the real deal again, I can confidently say it is also completely different from Greek yogurt. Good. Now I don't have to feel guilty about not really liking Greek yogurt.
Having tea at the Jane Austen center. So charming! (I guess I really liked food that day.)
Lowlights: I think we've almost died driving about four times.

Days 2/3 (Cornwall)
Cornish pasties and ice cream. (I guess I really liked food every day.)
Tintagel - the most vivid colors and beautiful scenery of anywhere.
The gardens at St. Mawes - they are full of globes of flowers that I love!
Lowlights: Driving through St. Ives.

Days 4/5/6 (Cardiff and South Wales attractions)
St. Fagan's (a great house with enormous spreading gardens) is one of the most beautiful places I've been. I could easily have spent a whole day there.
Pwll Mawr (the old working coal mine) is so fascinating! Our guide was occasionally unintelligible, and seemed so at home deep underground. He was also really short. Maybe this is where the idea of dwarves came from?
Lowlights: We popped off one of the side mirrors as we passed through a tiny bridge. Fortunately we managed to reattach it. (There is a trend to the lowlights.)

Day 7 (Stratford and Sherwood Forest)
The gardens at Stratford. Now I want a formal garden (and a gardener to tend it).
Being where Robin Hood was. So cool!

Day 8 (Castles in South Wales)
Tintern Abbey. I can't decide if it's a memorial to the futility of human effort, or to how much we can accomplish if we put our minds to it.
Castell Coch was designed by a fabulously wealthy man with the goal of creating an authentic medieval exterior and an opulent interior. The juxtaposition of arrow slits and gilt paint was interesting.

Days 9/10 (North Wales)
We went to a slate-splitting demonstration at the National Slate Museum. After an amazing show of skill and knowledge, he asked if there were any questions. "Have you ever worked with slate before?" "No, this is my first day on the job."
Dolbadarn castle - tiny (for a castle), ruined, and amazingly beautiful.
Lowlights: Adele (our lying GPS) told us the drive would be four hours. Try five and a half. (This goes back to the 60 mph speed limit on the world's most dangerous roads.)

Day 11 (Uffington White Horse and Oxford)
Eating at the Eagle and Child. I feel bad for all the other Inklings (besides Tolkien and Lewis) who are only remembered by association.
Rowing on the Thames. Jon was trying to row past another boat, and the oar popped out of the oarlock. He tumbled over backwards.

Days 12/13 (London)
St. Paul's cathedral is the most beautiful cathedral I've ever seen, and my favorite.
There are statues of Wenlock (Britain's Olympic mascot) all over. At first I thought they were really creepy, but they've really grown on me.
Walking to the Churchill War Rooms we passed through a park full of amazing birds. There were pelicans, swans (including gray swans), shorebirds, herons, ducks, geese.... it was amazing! (Until we passed a flock of hundreds of pigeons. Gross.)
Lowlights: Returning the car. About 400 pounds for a scratch on the paint. Ouch.

Unfortunately, I have surprisingly few great stories to tell. So instead I'm going to include two pictures that make it look like I have mad skills in photoshop.