Toddlers and Tiaras, AKA the Worst Show Ever

So, I watched Toddlers and Tiaras tonight (don't judge). I'm appalled. Honestly, it made me kind of sick to my stomach.


There was a four-year-old in a sexy nurse outfit. I kind of want to share the horror. I was going to include a picture of an adult wearing a similar outfit, but then I'd feel dirty for putting that in a post that also includes the word toddler, and I'm not going to search "toddler sexy nurse." Ever. There was another in a sexy cop outfit. Ditto. Gross.


This pageant has an under two division. Even the six-month-olds were wearing more makeup than I did to get married. Seriously, there are parents out there who look at their baby who can't yet walk or talk and think, "Oh, I know what she needs. Let's highlight her cheekbones and bring out her eyes" And then they don't think, "Oh, wait. Let's not, because she's a baby and that would be unnecessary and kinda creepy." Also they were wearing wigs (I assume; most babies don't really have hair, and these babies have heads piled with curls).

No makeup or wig required.

The most disgusting part, though, was listening to the judges. "Oh, her hair isn't perfectly set. Did you see how it was kind of moving?" Oh, the horrors of movable hair! "What we're really looking for in makeup is for the contestants to look like a Barbie." Mission accomplished. Blech. 

Anyone else super weirded out by this?

Oh, and by the way, the prize all this disgusting-ness was designed to win? $500. OK, one mother said she spent $1600 on a new dress for this pageant. That's a loss of $1100 even if her dolled up child wins, not even counting the professional hair, makeup, and nails.