Rachel vs. the DMV

If you, for some reason, were entirely obsessed with me, you may remember that I actually changed my name almost a year ago. Since then, I have had no confirmation of who I actually am. So that's cool, but I decided it had to change. So, my naivety intact, I decided to head to the Driver's License Division and get things taken care of.
While there I learned the following things:

Just because their website says your address is changed doesn't mean the employees there will realize it.

Apparently there is a problem with people who have their driver's license (with their photo and so forth) mailed to somebody else's address.

A document from the internet is good proof that you live where you say you live.

A receipt showing that you paid $500 for the privilege of moving into an apartment is not.

A signed or verbal statement from my husband/cohabitant or my apartment manager is not.

You can change your address over the internet or phone with no information besides your driver's license number and new address. In person, you need your driver's license number, previous address, birth certificate, social security card, and two pieces of mail. Or a piece of mail and something you printed off the internet. Or a signed lease agreement. (I didn't realize the risk of fraud was so much greater in person.)

It doesn't matter if you were in the building before they close. If you haven't been helped by closing time, you must leave.

Graduate

So there was this one time that I graduated. It was pretty cool and stuff. I got to walk across the stage (third one!) and then I got to wait and wait and wait while everybody else I knew and didn't know walked across the stage also.

And then I got a diploma.

And now I have to figure out what I want to do. I feel like Inigo Montoya--I've been in the school business for so long, that now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. I've considered and rejected piracy, so I guess that's progress, but I have this feeling that the process of elimination will take too long. So I'm open to suggestions, I suppose.

Home Insecurity

Jonathan and I recently moved. We've been in our new place for six days. Here are some of the lovely things we've seen so far.

One night we came home to an army of police cars surrounding a neighbor's door.

The next day, we were driving to the store when we saw a police SUV speeding down the street with the emergency lights on. Returning from the store, we saw a car pulled over, another police SUV, and a regular police car. Two scruffy-looking men were taking pictures of the back seat of the pulled over car. We think they were probably plain-clothes detectives. Or something.

That night, we got back from dinner and saw a firetruck and ambulance crowded around another door in our apartment complex.

Also, one of the residents in our complex has an ankle bracelet. He is not ashamed at all; he walks around in shorts. Another resident probably was waiting to do a drug deal one night while we were moving boxes in. He was just standing motionless by his car. We walked back and forth between the car and apartment five or six times, and he didn't move the whole time.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that we're probably going to be stabbed one night, but at least the police will be really familiar with the neighborhood, so they'll be able to respond quickly.

Fair Agreement

Jonathan and I bought season tickets for Seven Peaks Water park because I'll have two months this summer with nothing to do until my job starts. As everyone knows, buying or using tickets means that you're agreeing to the fine print on the back. Because I'm weird, I actually read the fine print. I never do anything about it or refuse to buy or use a product because of it, but I do read it.

Usually it's pretty standard and you release the park, employees, etc. from any injuries or death you receive due to negligence.

This one was different. We released them from liability for any harm caused by "negligence or any other acts." I assume this means they can now legally shoot us in the face or push us from the top of the water slide or slip some arsenic into our Dippin' Dots. I also assume they don't plan to take advantage of clause. Either way, it's totally worth it, right?

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is defined as an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. Buyer's remorse, when evidence exists that it is justified, is a classical example of cognitive dissonance. One will either seek to discount the new evidence, or truly regret and try to renounce the purchase. In other words, when experience clashes with expectations, you get uncomfortable. Here's another example.

Further adventures in babysitting

So another time I was babysitting for the same family I mentioned before. The six-year-old decided he had a crush on me. Everything I said, he agreed with completely. For example, he told me he loved snails. Did I love them too? "No. I think they're really gross."

"Oh, me too! I hate snails!"

He told me he really liked teasing his brothers. Wasn't that awesome? "No, I think it's probably not the best thing you could do."

"Yeah, I hardly ever tease them. I have better things to do."

He told me he hated healthy food and only liked junk food. "Yeah, junk food is good, but you can't have it all the time."

"Yeah, I only like junk food sometimes."

So, between six-year-old babysittees and Child 1 from church, I'm pretty sure I'm irresistible to children. I suppose that means I should have great responsibility to go with my great power.

Un-Benefited

So I recently got a preapproved credit card offer in the mail. It seemed like a good deal because if I spent $500 within three months and paid it off, they would give me an additional $500 in gift cards. We already spend that much on groceries and other necessities, so why not?

Apparently preapproved is not the same as approved. My application was denied. Fine.