Cranky

So Jonathan, in addition to talking in his sleep, is sometimes cranky in the mornings, often because of something he's dreamed. The other day he had another sleep-talking episode, and it was hilarious as usual.

I was getting ready for school and he was sleeping when he started calling for me. "Rachel! Rachel! I need you now!" I went into the bedroom.

"What's up?"

"I have some tips for you!" I asked what I needed tips on. "How to win your competition." I asked what competition he was talking about. He was exasperated that I would ask such a stupid question. "The female competition, of course." Of course. I should have realized that myself. I decided to play along and see what else he would come up with. "Oh, yeah?"

Jonathan mumbled some tips. Again, I said, "Yeah? That's what I should do?" More slurred words. "Yeah?"

This seemed to irritate him. "Stop saying yeah like you know all this!"

I didn't have a good response to that. "OK?"

"No. Don't say OK either. Say yes."

OK. I could do that. "Yes." He mumbled some more stuff that probably seemed very important at the time. Eventually I told him I had to leave so I could get to school on time. He mumbled some more stuff. "Yes," I said.

This irritated him also. "Don't say yes! It's not even true. You're such a liar."

OK, then. Apparently "yes" is the only appropriate affirmative. Except when using it makes you a liar.