Twilight Zone

I keep missing calls. This wouldn't be unusual, except that the calls I miss are from the future. In the past couple of months, I have had two missed calls from two different people show up on my phone. They supposedly were missed on May 11, 2010. Cue spooky music.

From the Archives

When I was little, I believed everything my older brother Josh told me. I was an innocent lass, and he was a mischievous lad, so this worked out well. One day he took me aside and told me that there are some words that you shouldn't use, and he was going to say them just once so I would know what not to say. I looked up at him as he whispered the forbidden words.
"Fudge. Ship. Dan."
There were more, but I don't remember them. I do remember that I spent the next months afraid of talking about boats and chocolate candy.

Rhetorical

I was sitting in sacrament meeting today when my roommate turned to me and whispered, "What would you do if I were to suddenly take a needle, jab you in the arm with it, and inject you with cholera?"
Good question.