Twilight Zone

I keep missing calls. This wouldn't be unusual, except that the calls I miss are from the future. In the past couple of months, I have had two missed calls from two different people show up on my phone. They supposedly were missed on May 11, 2010. Cue spooky music.

From the Archives

When I was little, I believed everything my older brother Josh told me. I was an innocent lass, and he was a mischievous lad, so this worked out well. One day he took me aside and told me that there are some words that you shouldn't use, and he was going to say them just once so I would know what not to say. I looked up at him as he whispered the forbidden words.
"Fudge. Ship. Dan."
There were more, but I don't remember them. I do remember that I spent the next months afraid of talking about boats and chocolate candy.

Rhetorical

I was sitting in sacrament meeting today when my roommate turned to me and whispered, "What would you do if I were to suddenly take a needle, jab you in the arm with it, and inject you with cholera?"
Good question.

Number of the Beast

I was looking at the textbooks I will need next semester. I only need four books, but unfortunately each of them has a pretty hefty price tag. I added up all the listed prices, and the total came to $666.
I think there are a few different ways I can interpret this.
1. The textbook industry is of the devil.
2. The BYU Bookstore is of the devil.
3. My textbooks are of the devil.
This would be more distressing if I hadn't recently learned that Satan is a good role model.

Fun with Fluids

In my fluid mechanics class, we've started watching videos at the start of each class. This was today's clip.

New goal: Find a cheap speaker. Find a loud song. Mix cornstarch and water. Enjoy.

Public Service Announcement

This is a video I think you all should watch.
Really. Go watch it now.
http://bobrodkin.posterous.com/public-health-agency-of-canada-coughing-sneez
Did you watch it? Good.

Seriously?

The following is a letter to the editor published in BYU's campus newspaper yesterday. It is so outrageous, I can't tell whether it's sarcastic or serious. Either way, I think the author is crazy.

Capable woman
BYU culture struggles to maintain the outdated and patriarchal views that disguise feminine repression through seemingly selfless acts of self-proclaimed “gentlemen.” While walking through campus, I do not see any damsels in distress. I see competent, intelligent, professional
women that do not need a man to hold the door, pay for a date or even present a shiny ring in the traditional manner.
I have hands, thank you. I do not feel flattered when you awkwardly hold the door open for helpless little me. I also have money. Women who allow men to pay for them on a date are prostituting their worth not only in the relationship, but also in a capitalistic society that strives to provide equal opportunities. Our income is worth just as much as any man’s labor could produce. Finally, I am equally capable of finding my own mate. My agency need not be stifled by the whim of a male who finally decides that I am worthy to be by his side. I, too, can take a knee; I too can afford a ring. Do you want a princess cut or a solid band?
My fellow sisters in Zion, do not be fooled into thinking that men wear the pants in the relationship. You can, too. Not only are skirts a safety hazard, preventing you from running away from danger, but they are also a symbol of your submissiveness. So, zip up the pants and assume your position next to the man — not behind him.