Twilight Zone

I keep missing calls. This wouldn't be unusual, except that the calls I miss are from the future. In the past couple of months, I have had two missed calls from two different people show up on my phone. They supposedly were missed on May 11, 2010. Cue spooky music.

From the Archives

When I was little, I believed everything my older brother Josh told me. I was an innocent lass, and he was a mischievous lad, so this worked out well. One day he took me aside and told me that there are some words that you shouldn't use, and he was going to say them just once so I would know what not to say. I looked up at him as he whispered the forbidden words.
"Fudge. Ship. Dan."
There were more, but I don't remember them. I do remember that I spent the next months afraid of talking about boats and chocolate candy.

Rhetorical

I was sitting in sacrament meeting today when my roommate turned to me and whispered, "What would you do if I were to suddenly take a needle, jab you in the arm with it, and inject you with cholera?"
Good question.

Number of the Beast

I was looking at the textbooks I will need next semester. I only need four books, but unfortunately each of them has a pretty hefty price tag. I added up all the listed prices, and the total came to $666.
I think there are a few different ways I can interpret this.
1. The textbook industry is of the devil.
2. The BYU Bookstore is of the devil.
3. My textbooks are of the devil.
This would be more distressing if I hadn't recently learned that Satan is a good role model.

Fun with Fluids

In my fluid mechanics class, we've started watching videos at the start of each class. This was today's clip.

New goal: Find a cheap speaker. Find a loud song. Mix cornstarch and water. Enjoy.

Public Service Announcement

This is a video I think you all should watch.
Really. Go watch it now.
http://bobrodkin.posterous.com/public-health-agency-of-canada-coughing-sneez
Did you watch it? Good.

Seriously?

The following is a letter to the editor published in BYU's campus newspaper yesterday. It is so outrageous, I can't tell whether it's sarcastic or serious. Either way, I think the author is crazy.

Capable woman
BYU culture struggles to maintain the outdated and patriarchal views that disguise feminine repression through seemingly selfless acts of self-proclaimed “gentlemen.” While walking through campus, I do not see any damsels in distress. I see competent, intelligent, professional
women that do not need a man to hold the door, pay for a date or even present a shiny ring in the traditional manner.
I have hands, thank you. I do not feel flattered when you awkwardly hold the door open for helpless little me. I also have money. Women who allow men to pay for them on a date are prostituting their worth not only in the relationship, but also in a capitalistic society that strives to provide equal opportunities. Our income is worth just as much as any man’s labor could produce. Finally, I am equally capable of finding my own mate. My agency need not be stifled by the whim of a male who finally decides that I am worthy to be by his side. I, too, can take a knee; I too can afford a ring. Do you want a princess cut or a solid band?
My fellow sisters in Zion, do not be fooled into thinking that men wear the pants in the relationship. You can, too. Not only are skirts a safety hazard, preventing you from running away from danger, but they are also a symbol of your submissiveness. So, zip up the pants and assume your position next to the man — not behind him.

Narcolepsy

I have been cursed with the ability to fall asleep almost instantly almost anywhere.
Last night I was a passenger in a car driving from Salt Lake to Provo. There was a meteor flash that apparently lit up the entire sky, and I missed it because, despite the fact that I had been participating in a conversation seconds earlier, I was asleep.
I was at a friend's house one night, and we were talking. She asked me a question, and I said, "I just," and fell asleep. In the middle of the sentence.
I have to put my alarm clock (OK, cell phone) across the room so I have to jump down from my bunk bed when it goes off. This is because otherwise I turn the alarm off without ever fully regaining consciousness. Unfortunately, recently I've been waking up, jumping down, walking across the room, turning off the alarm, walking back across the room, climbing back into bed, and going back to sleep. Not good.
The other side to this is that somehow my unconscious self wants everyone around me to believe I'm not asleep. When I do wake up, I usually say something completely ridiculous that makes complete sense to me. So if we're ever talking and I get quiet, and then suddenly ask where everybody is, you'll know what happened.

Curses! Foiled again!

I'm currently working on a project, and I didn't understand one of the questions. So I turned to google scholar. The first paper that came up looked like it would be perfect, so I clicked the link. The abstract looked good, and I started to scroll down, celebrating my good luck. So why, you may ask, did I say I was foiled? Because the abstract is in English, but the paper is in Russian.

Overrated

It turns out that I am overrated.
In one of my classes, we've been having people come talk to us about our various options after we graduate. This week we had someone come talk to us about graduate school. He told us that as engineers, we are perfectly capable of getting a good job without anything beyond a bachelor's degree. Moreover, we will be overrated. We will get more respect than we deserve and be paid more than we're worth. If we go to grad school, we can still be overrated, but feel like we've earned it. Personally, I'm OK with being overpaid and treated too deferentially.

Gimme a P! Gimme an R! Gimme an O! Gimme a C!...Oh, we'll finish later

Yesterday I had to turn in a draft of a paper. I have known about it since the semester started, and I picked a topic over a month ago. I have also been thinking about writing it for the past two weeks. Unfortunately, the operative word in that sentence was "thinking" instead of "writing". I also have been thinking about doing the research I needed to do. Again, I wish "thinking" were less important and "research" were more important. I ended up researching and writing the entire thing in one hour. On the one hand, I finished, and it was just a draft. On the other hand, I think it is the lowest quality work I've ever turned in. On the third hand (we're rapidly running out of hands here), think of all the research and writing time I saved!

Surprise!

I had my first surprise party last night to celebrate my half-birthday. All my friends convinced me they were not going to be able to make it, and then showed up at my door. We went out to dinner and I got to open a bunch of flasks. Yes, flasks. It was a tiny bit embarrassing, but so much fun!

Jaws

Yesterday I was walking on campus when I thought I heard singing. I looked over and saw two men dressed in shark suits. They were singing the Jaws theme song and running in circles around a couple. As the theme song progressed, the sharks circled closer and closer. When the song ended, they both suddenly lunged at the couple, then ran away, laughing at the couple's screams. My new life goal is to participate in something of the same nature.

Reverse Colorblind test

These are some websites that have reverse colorblind tests--you fail if you have normal vision. Now, I've always passed regular colorblind tests, indicating that I'm not colorblind. But I also passed these tests. So now I need some other people to look at them and tell me if you passed them also so I know whether they're accurate.
http://www.archimedes-lab.org/colorblindnesstest.html (scroll down about halfway down the page.)
http://www.cs.unm.edu/~aaron/creative/colorTest.htm
Enjoy!

WWSD?

Yesterday I was in my technical writing class and we were talking about persuasion. The teacher decided it would be cool to bring in a theological perspective and talk about Satan, who persuaded people to follow him even though they knew that an omniscient and perfect God had another plan. So we had a long theological discussion, which was interesting. The best part was the last minute of class though. The teacher's conclusion to the entire discussion was "OK, so the next time you're trying to persuade somebody, ask yourself: What would Satan do? And then do that."
Good advice, but somehow I'm uncomfortable making that my mantra.

Blog-sauce

The other day I was with my family in the car, and Josh called my younger sister Kristina lame-sauce. Kristina replied that she actually is a win-sauce. My parents overheard, and asked why they were adding "sauce" to the ends of their words. Kristina started trying to explain, but I could tell my parents didn't quite understand.
At this point, I could see two options. I could either join Kristina in trying to explain, or I could do my best to compound the confusion. I decided option #2 would be more entertaining, and that's what I did. Kristina said you can add "sauce" to any word. So I said, "Yeah, it's what all the young people-sauce say now." Kristina said she meant you could add it to adjectives. So I said, "Yeah, all the young-sauce people say it."
This back-and-forth continued for a while until my dad decided to get in on the joke too. For the rest of the drive, everything was "sauce." "It's foggy-sauce outside. . . . Now I'm hip-sauce for saying sauce." My dad is cool-sauce.

Holiday

Just so you all know, you missed out on a very important holiday.
I came home late one night last week. On my desk was a Reese's peanut butter cup, a bag of jellybeans, and a sign saying "Give Rachel Candy Day! Oct. 20, 2009". I have the best roommate ever.

Am I my cousin's keeper?

If so, I'm in trouble. Yesterday I went to a family party and discovered that my cousins have several children I never knew about. They are all adorable, and some of them are old enough that I'm seriously disturbed I didn't realize they existed. Luke is about 3 months old (I give myself a pass on not knowing about him), Jack is nearly one, and Megan is 15 months old (I have no excuse to not know about her). Way to go, self.

Research

Today I had to go to a lecture about how to do research. The best part was when the instructor told us that Wikipedia is a really good source, especially to find out about original research. I always use Wikipedia, but until today I thought it as an unsanctioned activity, and I would visit the sources at the bottom of the page. But now I know that Wikipedia really is my best friend.

Irony

Today I gave a presentation in one of my classes. It was a pretty big part of my grade, and I have known about it for about five weeks. So, of course, I started working on it yesterday afternoon. All things considered, it went pretty well. My peer reviews were fairly positive. My favorite? "Be more confident. You obviously know what you're talking about." Apparently I faked enough confidence to make myself appear knowledgeable, but not enough to make myself appear confident. Go figure.

OCD

I always get a special warm fuzzy feeling when my inbox has a multiple of 10 emails in it. Right now there are 5500, which is even better.

Grace

Today was not my most graceful day ever. I had to turn in a project by 5:00, and I printed it out at 4:55. So, I was running to try to turn it in, and I turned a corner. There was a guy standing there. I saw him in time to know what was going to happen, but not in time to stop it. (If only my shoes had traction...) So I slid into him in a lovely slapstick-style collision. It was not my finest moment.

Really?

Good news: I am not allergic to wasp stings.
Bad news: I had the chance to find out first hand.
I was walking to church yesterday when I heard a buzzing noise above my head. I don't like wasps at all, so I waved them away and walked faster. Then I heard buzzing again. So I waved them away and ran a step or two. Then I heard the buzzing again. Then I was stung on the very top of my head twice. Seriously. I stopped for just a second to ask myself, "Did that really just happen to me?" Unfortunately the answer was yes. Yes, it did.

How things work

I bought an optical drive to go with my computer, which doesn't have a CD drive. This, I thought, would be perfect. Unfortunately, last week I couldn't get it to do anything. And then I discovered that all the troubleshooting information and instructions are on a CD that was included with the drive. Of course.
The second part to this story is that I understand how things work. So I spent the weekend complaining to everybody who would listen to me about how stupid it is that my optical drive instructions are on a CD. It worked! Today when I tried it again, it worked perfectly. Take that, universe!

Astrology

So, I was looking up astrology information about myself, just for fun. Here is what I found:
"Taurus may be obstinately and exasperatingly self-righteous, unoriginal, rigid, ultraconservative, argumentative, querulous bores, stuck in a self-centered rut."
We are ugly ("Although their physical appearance may belie it, they have a strong aesthetic taste"), have no sense of humor, and are sloppy, greedy drunks. I would flourish in "almost any form of bureaucracy", although chemistry was also on the list.
There were no positive points. Ouch.
So, apparently you all are good people for hanging out with me. Thanks.

Some days are really lame. This was one of those days. Everything was going terribly, and I was starving. So I went to buy some food. And found out my wallet was at home. So I walked outside, and saw a table where they were giving away free brownies. Maybe my day wasn't quite so lame after all.

Multitasking

I love it when I can receive the maximum amount of credit for the minimum amount of work. Right now, I'm taking a physical chemistry class, a technical writing class, and a professional skills class. And they all have the exact same requirement--choose something and learn about it. Prepare a technical report. Bahahaha!
Now, all I have to do is choose one really good topic, and I'll be good to go. :)

Oops

You know how sometimes you think you've taken care of everything, and you go back over it once more just to make sure? And you don't see anything wrong? And then, after it's too late, you realize you forgot something important? Yeah.
I was taking an ethics test. On the front of the test, it said something along the lines of "Sign this page after you finish the test. Signing means you did not cheat or use unauthorized help." So I thought, great. And took the test. And looked it over. And turned it in. And realized the next day that I forgot to sign it. So now my teacher probably thinks I cheated on an ethics test. Fantastic.

Lois? David? Anyone?

So, wrong numbers are pretty high up on my list of phone calls I enjoy. Yesterday I got a really good one.
My phone rang, so I answered it.
Me: Hello?
Quavery old woman voice: Lois?
M: No, I think you have a wrong number.
QOW: Oh, I'm sorry. Is Lois there?
M: No, I think this is a wrong number.
QOW: Well, I was trying to reach David, really. I have a question for him.
M: I think this is a wrong number. This is my cell phone, and I don't know any Davids. (Not strictly true, but I don't know her David, so it's OK.)
QOW: The question I had was, how much did his gas bill come to?
M: I really couldn't say, because I don't know David.
QOW: Oh, is this a wrong number?
M: Yes, I think it is.
QOW: Oh, sorry to bother you. Goodbye.
M: Thank you. Goodbye.

Procrastination

Sometimes we need to do unpleasant things, and sometimes we need to do things that are not necessarily unpleasant, but are still not appealing. For example, tomorrow I need to give a talk in Sacrament meeting. This is very unappealing to me. It becomes more unappealing because I have yet to write my talk, and can't think of how to word things, sequence them, or even enough material. So, I am putting it off. I am fully aware that the longer I leave the talk, the less appealing it will be, but somehow I just can't quite get myself to buckle down and go to work. Sigh.

Whoa.

I am taking a physical chemistry class, in which we are learning about quantum chemistry and quantum mechanics. Here is a story which I thought was incredibly cool.
Einstein proved that light (sometimes) acts like a particle. Some other people thought this was pretty cool, as light had always been thought of as a wave up until that point. So, they decided to do an experiment to support his theory. They got two pieces of material and cut two slits in one piece. The other piece was used as a recording board. Next, they took some equipment that would shoot photons (light) at the first piece of material. The idea was that the photons would go through the slits and make a pattern in the shape of the two slits on the back board, which is what particles should do (imagine shooting marbles at a board with two slits cut in it). Instead, they got an interference pattern, which is what waves do.
This was strange, so they decided see what happened if they turned the intensity way down, to one photon at a time. So, they would shoot one photon at a time at the board. They still got an interference pattern, which means the photon was interfering with itself--it simultaneously entered both slits.
This was very strange, so they decided to see why. They set up equipment to observe the photon as it came through the slits so they could see how, why and when it became a wave. The photons did not cooperate, and they got a pattern in the shape of the two slits. Watching for the wave caused the photon to behave only as a particle.
This was extremely strange. So they came up with quantum mechanics and wave-particle duality. Wow.

Baby steps

I have decided that most things happen by increments so small you can't really tell that they are changing until you look back and realize that somehow you started at point A and ended up at point B. A good case in point is my life this semester. All indications say that my life should be really easy, as far as I can tell. I am only taking 14 credit hours. That is the least credits I have ever taken in a semester. Furthermore, I have one class on Tuesdays and no classes on Thursdays. However, I somehow am insanely busy. How did that happen?

In Which we Learn not to Give In to Peer Pressure

I went to my career skills class on Wednesday, comfortable in the knowledge that I could totally take anything that class could hand me. Then the teacher announced that we will be doing technical presentations, and all needed to choose a topic to talk about for twenty minutes. Now, this past summer I went to Wales, and everybody else in my graduating class got internships and did research. So, they all started listing the things they were going to talk about: Building silicone chips using lithography and etch, Vasoconstrictive technology in artificial organs, and various other long and difficult to pronounce project names.
At this point, I was fairly panicked. Everything I know that is remotely technical, everybody else in my class knows also. So, I did the only thing I could--gave in to peer pressure. I decided I had to choose a legitimate, intelligent-sounding topic. So I chose a topic a chemistry grad student I used to share an office with once gave a presentation on. He practiced the presentation on me, so I knew about the topic. It was Electronic Modeling of Protein Structures. The teacher was impressed, and asked if it's something I do research in. I thought that sounded fairly smart, and planned to switch topics fairly soon.
My justification for switching was going to be that it turned out to be more chemistry than chemical engineering. This came back to bite me, which I suppose was fairly predictable. It turns out there is an entire chemical engineering class called Molecular Modeling. So, I suppose electronic modeling of protein structures is about to be something I do research in.

Awesome

Today is a momentous day. In fact, it is the day that I finally did something about my lousy computer, which I have been complaining about for months. What I did was buy a new computer. I am now the proud owner of one of those mini computers you may have seen advertised. It has a 10.1"screen, and is about 80 times faster than my old computer.
I am happy.

Thought of the Day

This comes straight from my P-Chem textbook, and is for your consideration.
"Hence, the rotational energy is doubly degenerate. Note that the degeneracy is doubly degenerate but not infinitely degenerate."
I hope you got more out of that than I did.

Oreo

Today I overheard an interesting conversation. I was sitting in the office of Dr. Solen, the professor I TA for. Dr. Solen is an amazing man. He has been teaching at BYU for years, has written several textbooks and taught several of the other professors. I overheard him talking with one of the secretaries. The secretary said, "Would you like an Oreo?" Dr. Solen said, "Yes, I never turn down free food."
My world was kind of rocked--I know students never turn down free food, but Dr. Solen? Eating free Oreos because they're free? Consider me flabbergasted.

Happiness is

Taking Welsh classes instead of religion classes.
Returning my $87 book to the bookstore because the teacher told us we can use an old edition, which only costs $30.
Not having any classes on Thursdays.
Less than happiness is:
Still having work early on Thursdays.
Realizing I left all my dishes at home.
Realizing I also left my cell phone charger at home.
Paying rent for September.

Sometimes...

Things just work out. This is the case with my job this semester. I had hoped to be working about 15-20 hours per week for the chemistry department, because they pay really well. Unfortunately, they also are really slow about offering you a job, so by the time they did, I had already accepted a different job with the chemical engineering department.
The problem with the job I had accepted was that it is only for 11 hours per week, which is not really enough to keep me fed and not homeless (despite the fun I had being a hobo in London, it is not something I want to make a habit of). The other problem is that it didn't work with my schedule. So, the last I heard, I may or may not have had an eleven hour job. I also had applied for a 3-5 hour per week job, also with the chemical engineering department, but hadn't heard anything from them. I had sent a bunch of emails, but never gotten any replies. This was basically my status as of yesterday morning.
Then, yesterday, everything just kind of fell into place. I got several emails, informing me that:
1. A different professor wanted me as his TA because he wants a woman, and this severely limits his options in the chemical engineering program.
2. This job would require working hours that I actually am available.
3. They do actually want me to work the 3-5 hour/week job. I am going to get trained for that today.
I don't know exactly what the message in this is, but I'm guessing it's something along the lines of "Things will work out if you have faith and make a reasonable effort on your own."

Fortune Cookie

We went out for Chinese food last night. My fortune cookie told me "Take a trip with a friend." I think this is fantastic advice. My mom thinks it's a bit outdated, but I think the timing is great. The only problem is that I no longer have any money or time for travel.

Subconscious

Sometimes I wonder about myself. These moments of introspection mostly occur just after I properly wake up and realize what I dreamed about or, in more interesting circumstances, did while I was asleep. Apparently my subconscious self is somebody I would not like to meet.
A couple of weeks ago, my friends and I were at one of the houses in Wales. We were all sleeping except for one of my housemates. When she said she was going back to our house, I asked her to wait for half an hour and then I would walk back with her. So she waited for half an hour. The next morning, I realized what a ridiculous and jerk-like request that was.
Last night, I was asleep on the couch and John was trying to talk to me. I was trying to give the impression that I was coherent, although I'm not sure how well that turned out (badly, probably). At some point, I must have fallen completely asleep, and he thought it would be funny to poke me with something he had made from magnets and rods. Apparently my subconscious is not only a jerk, it's also violent. I woke up to find that I had smacked his spaceship and broken it apart. Oops.
Anyway, if you're ever around while I'm asleep, be afraid. Be very afraid.

There's no place like home...

I am officially back in the United States. This is good news, in a way. For one thing, the dollar is a much nicer currency to have prices in than the pound. I love seeing people who have been thousands of miles away for the entire summer. School starts in less than a week, so I should probably be here. I actually have two jobs lined up for the semester, so I shouldn't starve. These are all good things.
On the other hand, at around 7 or 8 in the evening, I start to feel like death warmed over. Last night at around 8:30 my brother was bringing up my belongings from the basement so I can move them down to Provo today. He asked me to help. I said I would help in the morning. Intellectually, I understood that I should probably go contribute. Physically, it felt like 3:30 in the morning, and there was no way I was going to go start hauling things around. Then I wake up early in the morning. Waking up early is fine, when you have something going on. I have nothing to do. So I wake up before 7 and have nothing left to do by 11. If any of you have free time and would like to hang out, I'm going a bit crazy and would love to do something.

Weirdness

Some random stories and thoughts from the last few days:
There was a weird old drunk 50 year old man who kissed my hand. It was disgusting.
Tonight a drunk guy came up to me as I was walking with some friends. He said he had just been arrested, and that earlier a guy had stabbed him in the hand. Then he tried to show us his stabbed hand. I looked away, but it was definitely bloody.
We decided it would be prudent to avoid him, so we waited for a while, until he went into a store. Then we kept walking. A few minutes later, he caught up to us and started showing us his bloody finger again. Gross.
I keep hoping my blog will update itself. I log on over and over, hoping that there will be something new and entertaining to read. Then I remember that I have to write things first. Sigh.

Homecoming

So, I am coming back to the States on Monday. This makes me kind of sad, because although I am excited to see people again, I am not excited to get back to regular life. While I have been here, I haven't had to worry about real homework, or tests, or school, or money. Food money was given to us each week, and I had saved spending money for over a year. What say you all just come visit me in Wales instead of me coming home?

Hamlet

The reason my group and I were hobos was to get tickets to Hamlet, starring Jude Law. Every morning they give out 30 standing tickets to the show, which has been otherwise sold out for months. So, we were first in line, and got our tickets to the matinee showing, because after that night, none of us were up for a 3:00 am return to Cardiff, which is what we would face if we went to the evening show.
The play was amazing! The acting was very powerful, and Hamlet gives a lot of scope for powerful acting. It captures human emotion, relationships and problems beautifully and portrays characters who are complex enough that you can relate to just about all of them. It was actually the first Shakespeare play I read that I actually enjoyed, and this performance was even better. It was worth the night as a hobo, which is saying something.
The best part? The director somehow heard that we had stayed out all night to get standing tickets, and he was impressed enough that he decided we needed more reward than the play. So, he invited us to come backstage when the play was over, meet him and some of the cast, and see the set. So cool! If you ever have the chance, take it!

Hobo, part 2

So, in case you have been dying to hear about my hobo experience, here it is.
First off, Leicester Square, where we were staying, is apparently one of the seedier parts of London. This was evidenced by the abundance of drunk people we encountered. Our very first experience was actually with sober people, who invited us to come get drunk with them. When we declined, they told us we would be very cold that night. OK, thanks for the heads up.
Next, I went for a walk with my friend Camilla. As we were walking back to our group, an old man stopped us and asked us to please dumb down our conversation. It was far too late for the kind of intelligent things we were saying.
Several of the drunks seemed to think we were in need of charity. One gave us a piece of pizza with a bite taken out of it, which we were to share among all 17 of us. Another gave us £5. Another gave us a sandwich.
Everybody was very curious about what we were doing in front of the steps. Tom, our teacher, stayed up all night long to field their questions, and also make sure we were safe. This was partly because we had a half-threat of robbery. While Tom had stepped away for a minute at the start of the night, a man came by and informed us that we would have nothing left when we woke up.
My favorite drunk was the girl who shouted profanities at a group of men across the street, broke off to ask Tom what we were doing, returned to shouting profanities, and when the group of men came across the street, became their best friend. They went off arm in arm singing about how they were friends to the end. Meanwhile, and old man was listening to her and talking about her foul mouth. "She has the foulest mouth I've ever heard. She said the f-word 13 times. She should say *$@! instead! She should say *$@! instead!" However, when she and her former enemies went off, he got a taxi and left as well.
The drunkenness went on all night long, although Tom says that at about 4:00 it changed from mostly drunken people to mostly early workers. There were, indeed, very early workers. At 2:30 in the morning some constructions workers decided they needed to work on a project across the street from us. Also, at 5:45, some other workers decided they needed to tear up the sidewalk right next to us. In case you hadn't gathered this yet, we didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but we did have a wealth of strange experiences.
Do I feel the need to become a full-time hobo? No. Am I glad I was a one-night hobo? Definitely.

Hobo

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. It will start at the ungodly hour of 5:45 in the morning, when I will catch a train to London. We're going to spend the day in Cambridge, then come back to London. You are probably thinking, "Nice, but not too interesting. And it certainly has nothing to do with hobos." Don't worry, it's coming.
In the evening, I'm probably going to a movie, and then it really gets good. We are going to spend the night in Leicester Square, which apparently is one of the seedier parts of London. To mitigate the problem this causes, we are going to have watches, and somebody will always be awake. Furthermore, because London tends to be cold and wet, we have each been issued a piece of plastic foam and two garbage bags to sleep on and in, respectively. At this point, you may be asking yourself why. This is a valid question. The answer is: Because we can.
OK, the answer is really because we want to get tickets to Hamlet. Jude Law is playing, and this apparently is big news. So, my life's goal list now looks like this:
Go to Wales [X]
Try sushi[X]
Sleep on the streets as a hobo []
etc.
But after tomorrow, I will be able to check off the hobo box too. Pretty sweet, isn't it?

Further insanity and awkwardness

Two more awkward stories, and then I promise I'm done.
Story One:
I was at the theater waiting for Les Mis to start. The couple next to me were snogging their hearts out. Gross. Then it got grosser. The woman pulled away and started to cough and sneeze. Then they kissed again. Then she took out her nasal spray and sprayed it up her nose. Then they kissed again. Then she sprayed the nasal spray up her other nostril. Then they kept kissing. Etc. Really? Who does that? Then my friend who was watching the play with me came back from the restrooms. "You look tense." No joke.
Story Two:
Our entire group of 18 people got back to Cardiff from London at about 2:30 this morning. The train station is about two miles from our house, so we had quite a walk ahead of us through downtown Cardiff. Now, everything except the pubs closes at about 5:30 or 6, so everybody who was still out was drunk. Very drunk. We walked past groups of people falling over and picking each other back up. One of the more entertaining group seemed to be exercise junkies, maybe. They were doing scissor kicks and clapping their hands under their legs, which is surprisingly dextrous. Suddenly one of them spotted us. "Yes! Yes! Jack! Foreigners! Foreigners!"
Jack and clapping guy decided to be our escort, all while continuing to shout "Foreigners! Foreigners! School group!" Then they decided to try to figure out what country we were from. "Bore da! [Welsh for good morning.] Guten tag! Hola! Como estas? Try German! Guten tag! Try French!" Our response was silence, and walking faster. They kept walking with us for about half a block, and then we acted like we were turning down an alley. When Jack, clapping guy, and the others had turned, we continued straight. Meanwhile, we could hear their conversation. "Any luck? No, they were deathly afraid." Maybe, but as soon as we were past them it was hilarious.

The insanity of the Brits

This is a post about the crazy people I have encountered. They have not been very numerous, but there have been some.
First there was the crazy guy on the corner. He apparently stood on the corner and shouted for hours, because he was there when I walked past, and also when all of my roommates walked past later. I got the boring shouts--not really comprehensible, and definitely not complimentary. He called one of my roommates Sweeney Todd, and asked another one where she lived. Right, buddy. We're going to tell you.
Then there was the guy I thought was going to mug me. I was walking home by myself, and it wasn't dark yet, but it was getting there. He started walking behind me, which made me nervous, so I sped up. He sped up too, which made me more nervous. Then he started shouting things. This was different from Crazy #1 because Crazy #2 was shouting complimentary things. After a while he turned down a back alley, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Next was the girl who sat on my lap. I think I'm going to tell myself that it's a cultural thing, and personal space does not exist in Spain. I was at an institute activity with the young adults of Wales, and a girl from Spain was visiting. We were sitting around, and I was sitting in an armchair. Despite the open seats on the couch and other chairs, she decided she wanted to share the chair with me. The chair was not quite big enough for two people. So she was practically on my lap, which was slightly awkward. Then she reached over and took my hand, which was really awkward. Again, I'm pretending in Spain nobody has personal space.

Awesome cars

When I came to Britain, I expected to see a lot of awesome cars. This was based mostly on the fact that when Josh was in Germany, he saw a lot of awesome cars. Unfortunately, I forgot that Britain is not the same, and I have seen more Fords here than in America. Bummer.
On the other hand, my house is about 3 blocks away from an Aston Martin dealership. For style and sheer class, you can't beat an Aston Martin. Also, I saw a three-wheeled car. Seriously. It was driving down the street, and there were two wheels in back and one in the front. It brings joy to my heart and soul. It looked like this willbop.breebop.com/2006/06/24/triple-the-safety/ only red.
Also, there are double decker buses, which look really cool but sadly are not that fun to ride in. But there was one which was purple, and therefore looked like the Knight Bus from Harry Potter.

Awesome

Friends, this week has been awesome. I don't want to be incredibly repetitive to my family, who already were given an entirely too long email, so I'll keep this brief.
The highlights of my week:
Going to about four different castles.
Going to cathedrals. I went to Evensong at Salsbury Cathedral. It turns out Evensong means "evening service." So, I attended a Church of England service. Even better, it was the evening of their patron saint's day. So, at the end of the service, we all followed the choir over to the shrine or St. Osbert while the choir and congregation sang a song about how fantastic St. Osbert was. It was crazy, but cool. I had never been to another church's services, but this was fairly low key. Mostly they just sang songs and read a couple of passages from the Bible.
Going to Stonehenge. I can't even describe how cool it was. Most people get to walk past it and take pictures. We got to go up to it, wander around the stones, touch the stones, sit on the fallen stones, and dance around. So. Cool.
Driving around. We have a crazy GPS that we have named Gypsy due to its wandering nature. Gypsy has led us down hedgerow lined roads that touch the van on both sides, through a river (really, we forded a river. Twice. Once on the way there, and once on the way back.), down hills so steep that nobody should drive down them, much less a 16-passenger van that is a stick shift to boot, and around countless roundabouts. We think Gypsy's goal is to take us down a back alley and kill us one of these days. Anyway, it's always an adventure. Yesterday's adventure was that we ran out of petrol completely, and Gypsy told us we would have to go back to the town we had left an hour ago. Bad idea, Gypsy.
Going to Harry Potter 6. As a British movie, it opened here first. I think several of you saw it before me, but theoretically I could have seen it first. And I did go see it, and I enjoyed it.
Next week is going to be awesome. We are going to have conversation "classes" again. By classes, I mean we are going to pubs and talking to old Welsh people. We also are going to London again, and I have tickets to Les Mis. Life is good.

Croeso i Gymru (Welcome to Wales)

I am here in Cardiff, and have decided to let you in on some of the random things that have happened and some of the things that have surprised me. First, I expected it to be much greener. However, to make up for the lack of shocking green, there are huge trees, woods, and gorgeous flowers everywhere. The most surprising trees I have seen are palm trees. Seriously, there is a palm tree in about every third garden. I always associated palm trees with California, not Britain, but there you are.
When I got to Cardiff, I found the landlord's office. It had a sign in the window with the BYU study abroad addresses. I am living on Dogfield Street. There was nobody in the office to provide directions, so my friend and I set off on our own. We asked several people in the area for directions, but Dogfield is out of the way, so nobody had heard of it. So, we wandered. Finally, we found a pay phone and called Tom, our teacher. He told us we were actually only a block away from our street, and then came to collect us and give us keys.
The weather here is completely different from Utah weather. We have had rain every day except today. However, the rain is different. Instead of raining steadily, there are cloudbursts. It will be sunny, and the next minute rain is pouring down in buckets. Ten or fifteen minutes later, the sun is shining again.
The buildings here are really, really old. The tile in our kitchen and bathroom looks like it's from WWII. Also, the shopping center is in the center of Cardiff, which means all the stores are in really, really old buildings. It is kind of weird, but cool, to see an old brick building with amazing architecture, and look inside and see a modern shoe shop or tattoo parlor.
We have Welsh conversation classes in pubs. We just go over the pubs, and there are groups of Welsh speakers who meet to chat every week. We join their chatting. I have found that I am much better at understanding other people than at forming my own sentences. I also think my Welsh will be much better than it is now by the time I come home. Today I bought a book in Welsh by Terry Pratchett, which is amazing.
The food is great. We do most of our cooking at home because it's cheaper. I have one vegetarian housemate, so most of our food is also vegetarian, which is not quite as tasty but a lot cheaper. Other than that, I've had a Cornish pasty, which is like a hot pocket, but much, much better. I think I would eat them every day if I could. I also tried a Welsh cake, which is kind of like a pancake, only better. The chocolate is fantastic. The yogurt here is also much better than American yogurt. I have been eating a lot, and British food is kind of fattening. However, I also have been walking at least 5 or 10 miles every day, so I think it's balancing out all right.
Walking the streets of Cardiff is an adventure. First, I keep thinking the cars have no driver when I glance over. Then there aren't really crosswalks and you just have to dart across the street. I think the tradition of scouts helping old ladies across the street must have begun in Britain.
So, there you are. Consider yourselves updated.

Hwyl Fawr

That means goodbye in Welsh. Yes, folks, tomorrow I am leaving the country. I'll take a 14 hour red-eye flight and then end up in London.
In the meantime, this last week has been pretty fantastic.
My family and I went to Lagoon. I thought I wasn't really a roller-coaster person, but it turns out I am a water-rides person. Rattlesnake Rapids and the log flume were amazing. I got drenched, but it was all good.
Josh and I went to Idaho Falls with our Aunt Cloe for our cousin's baptism. It was pretty awesome to spend time with them. Unfortunately, Emma did not recognize me or remember me. Ah well, it was still fun.
I went down to Draper to visit my former roommate. I used to call her my old roommate, but she objects to the connotations. Anyway, she is pretty much one of my favorite people, and it was good to see her.
I went to see Monsters vs. Aliens with Josh. Cheesy movie, good company...what more could I ask for?
Other than that, I have pretty much loafed around watching TV and reading.
See you all in 7 weeks!

The endless PIN cycle

Earlier I talked about my non-PIN knowing vicious cycle, which was effectively preventing me from accessing my bank account or anything related to it. I went down to the physical bank, talked to a physical person, reset my PIN to something I couldn't forget, and everything was good.
Or was it?
Today I called my bank because I need to be able to use my debit and credit cards while I'm in Wales. They asked if I was having trouble with my PIN. I said no, I had some trouble earlier, but it's all smoothed over now. They said, "Great. We just need to get things cleared up on our end."
And apparently reset my PIN to something else, because my new PIN, which I know I remember because I used it to make the phone call ('To verify your identity, enter your account number. And the last four digits of your SSN. And your PIN. And give us your first-born child. And an arm and a leg.'), no longer works. Mark one up for technology. I'm losing the battle, but I will win this war.

On an unrelated note, if I had declared war on punctuation, I would totally win. You will notice I have 4 punctuation marks all in a row. It looks wrong, but I don't really care at this point.
Rachel: 1
Punctuation: 0

Tally

Today's score is
Technology: 5
Rachel: 0

Stupid technology. OK, one of those points was a hacker, not technology, but they're stupid too, whoever they are.

Adrenaline

Yesterday I was walking home from the library when a dog came running across the street. Normally I really like dogs, but this one was scary. It was a fairly large and growling. The owner was on the other side of the street, yelling at the dog to come back and at me to not be afraid. Good advice, friend, good advice.

Museum of Natural History

Josh and I went to the Utah Museum of Natural History yesterday. It was pretty awesome and makes a good activity. There were three exhibits I thought were especially awesome.
1. Fossils. Because how can you not like fossils? I have always liked mammoths and dinosaurs, and it was fun to see their skeletons. Also, there was a T. rex skull. It reminded me of Jurassic Park, and it was amazing.
2. Bugs. They have a bunch of live bugs crawling around in exhibits. There were diving beetles, velvet ants, which are fuzzy, some crazy huge spiders, and a 6 inch centipede. None (except maybe the diving beetles) were the kind of thing I would like to meet in the wild, but it was fun to see them.
3. Frogs. They have all kinds of frogs and toads--poison dart frogs, red-eyed tree frogs, tomato frogs, strawberry frogs, bullfrogs, and more. I happen to really like frogs, and it was cool to see them.
If you get a chance, you should visit the museum if you have a few free hours. U of U students get in for free, but otherwise you'll have to pay for it. It's worth it.

Determination

People in my family have determination. They are learning songs on the piano, and they are learning to play them well. Apparently my parents bought some really cool music books--Phantom of the Opera, Peanuts, Disney hits. I have learned that I lack determination. I would much rather play through a song once or twice and say, "Good enough!" and move on to the next song than learn one really well. I am a throwback to the days before people realized the benefits of specialization and were jacks of all trades, master of none.

About me

To make up for the lack of posting lately, here is a very long post, semi-plagiarized from Josh's blog.
Basic Info:
Full Name: Rachel Bohman
Single or Taken: Single
Sex: Female
Birthday: May 4
Sign: Taurus
Siblings: 2 brothers, 2 sisters
Eye colour: hazel
Shoe size: Sunday shoes: Between 7 and 8
Height: Just shy of 6 feet.
Country born: United States
Innie or Outie: Innie
What are you wearing right now: Pants and a t-shirt
Where do you live: Provo, UT
Righty or lefty: Right-handed
Any pets: A rabbit named Ebony
Relationships"
Who are your best friends: Mary Ann, Rebecca, Mike, Josh and Emma
Do you have a bf or gf?: I thought we covered this?
Best place to go for a date: McDonalds. Hands down . . . . Or not.
Outgoing or introverted?: I tend to be very introverted, but I'm working at being less antisocial.
Favorite kind of pants: The cheap kind.
Favorites:
Favorite Number: 72. Except when I'm doing math. then it's either 0 or 1.
Boys Name: I don't really have one.
Girls Name: I like Myriam.
Animal: Dolphins or sea turtles or puppies.
Drink: Orange juice
Sport: Archery. I also like watching gymnastics.
Fast-Food Place: Subways
Month: October
Band: I like Jem a lot, but not all the time.
Movie: Most recently I watched Batman Begins and Jurassic Park. Both good movies.
Breakfast: I like stuffed French toast.
Perfume: It depends.
Cologne: Again, it depends.
Favourite cartoon character: Wile E. Coyote.
Have you ever:
Given anyone a bath: me.
Smoked: no
Bungee Jumped: No.
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: nope...this should come in handy when I'm playing "Never have I ever". I didn't realize my life was so uneventful.
Broken a bone: Josh broke my arm when we were little.
Played truth or dare: Is there somebody who hasn't?
Been in a physical fight: No.
Been in a police car: No.
Come close to dying: There was this one time when a bus driver was reading . . . and when I almost drowned in the swimming pool and was pulled out by the lifeguard.
Been in a sauna: Yes
Been in a hot tub: Claro.
Fallen asleep in school: Not before college. And not in a long time.
Ran away: No.
Broken someone's heart: I don't think so.
Cried when someone died: Yes
Flashed someone: Not on purpose.
Cried in school: Yes. One of many reasons I'm glad I'm no longer in middle school.
Fell off your chair: Many times.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call: Josh is the only one who ever calls me. And he doesn't call in the middle of the night.
Saved e-mails: Definitely
Made out with just a friend: no
Used someone: Not on purpose. But probably.
Been cheated on?: There has never been anybody who could cheat on me.
Done something you regret?: Are there people who haven't?
What is:
Your good luck charm: I used to have a piece of coral. Then I lost it. But I always did really well on tests when I brought the coral to school with me.
Stupidest thing you have ever done: I'm sure there are lots of things, but nothing springs to mind.
What's your room like: I don't have a room right now. When I did, it was nice. It has a place for all my things, and a space heater.
Last thing you said: Good night.
What is beside you: Nothing, really. A pillow, I suppose.
What shampoo do you use: The cheap kind.
Something that has happened to you this year: I am going to Wales two weeks from today.
Worst thing that has happened to you this year: I was exposed to swine flu about three times in the last week.
Have you Had:
Chicken pox: Yes
Sore Throat: Yes
Broken nose:No
Tonsels removed: No.
Ice cream in the morning: Of course.
To give the heimlich: No. Knock on wood.
Would You:
Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000: Ick. No.
Go to a Manson concert if you had a free ticket: Why not?
If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with : Somebody with a lot more survival training than I have.
Do you admire anyone?: yes
Who is the last person that called you: Mary Ann.
Who was the last person you slow danced with: That was a long time ago...and none of you know him.
What makes you laugh the most: my friends
What makes you smile: most things
Do You:
Do you like filling these out: sometimes
Do you wear contacts or glasses?: Contacts.
Do you like yourself: Usually
Do you get along with your family: Of course
Have piercings below the waist: uh, no.
Stolen anything over $30: no
Obsessive: More than I would like to be.
Compulsive: Sometimes I find myself touching poles. Or counting everything.
Want to have children?: Yes
Like mornings?: Sometimes. Let's say I like the late morning.
Enjoy seafood?: love it
Misc:
What makes you happy: Rain. Plans. Friends. Family. Food. Getting things done.
What did you do yesterday: Finished packing, moved out of my apartment, took a final, studied for another final, watched Batman Begins.
Got any awards: "Outstanding Sophomore in Chemical Engineering"
What car do you wish to have: Anything that runs.
Do you want to get married: yes
Good dancer: I'm not coordinated enough to be a good dancer.
Good Singer: I like singing. I don't think I'm particularly great at it.
Have a lava lamp: No. That would be cool, though.
How many remote controls are in your house: None that are mine.
Are you double jointed: I wish I were double jointed.
What do you dream about: Crazy disturbing things. Usually it's set either in a seaside town (last time I was there, it was the Spanish inquisition) or a department store (child labor, inability to find things, etc.)
Last time you showered: Last night.
The last movie you saw at the theatres: Um. I think it's been since last summer, and I don't remember.
Scary or happy movies: Happy all the way.
Vanilla or chocolate: Usually vanilla, but sometimes you just need some chocolate.
Summer or winter: summer. But spring and fall are the best.
Silver or Gold: silver
Diamond or pearl: pearl
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset. Sunrise is just so early!
Cats or dogs: I like cats. And dogs. But probably cats more.
Phone or in person: Neither. I hate people! (OK, in person. And I don't hate people)
Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: Second oldest

Wow. That was long. And I feel like I have done my penance. I won't go so long without posting again.

Sorry

I have been a lame blogger lately, and I apologize. My excuses are not very good, but I'm sticking with them. My computer was broken, so I couldn't blog at home (I since got the part I needed. Yay!) Also, I was really busy, but not with anything that would be particularly interesting to read about. I had to move, and I had finals, which just ended today. Today's final was in Classical Civilizations. The essay was the best essay question ever: "Which of the books we read this semester influenced you personally the most, and why?" Hello full credit! I love subjective questions like that.

The Adventures of Last Night: Part Two

My roommate Nalene and I were sitting on the couch watching Jurassic Park. The other two members of our group had gone for a walk, so we were the only ones home.
Just as the movie got to a nice intense part, there was a huge BANG! that sounded really close. In the next eighth of a second or so, I considered the possibilities. It could be a gunshot, or a bomb, or a sonic explosion. Then there was the sound of shattering glass. It also sounded really close. Sonic explosion was sounding like the most reasonable explanation. I hadn't quite connected the dots at that point, and I thought it was somewhere else, or maybe part of the movie.
Being a quick thinker, however, I soon realized that it sounded close because it was close. As in right behind me close. Our living room is arranged so that the couch is right underneath a window. Anybody who really wants to can climb out on an eight inch ledge and look through our window (which is not as creepy as it sounds) or break it, as in this case.
Now, this was all still within the first half of a second (adrenaline will speed up your thinking considerably), so my next impression was that I felt like I was in a war movie. Nalene was screaming and there was glass falling from the window onto our couch, and, because I was sitting on the couch, onto me.
If I had no sense of shame, and wanted to field concerned phone calls, I would now say "To be continued..." and leave you until tomorrow. I won't do that, though.
Nalene and I looked up, and one of the guys in our ward was standing on the ledge looking very sheepish. He claimed he had seen us watching Jurassic Park and only meant to tap the glass loud enough to scare us. He felt really bad and kept protesting that it must be the weakest glass ever.
He came in to help us clean up the glass. We spent the next 45 minutes or so vacuuming up shards of glass. The next problem we had to face was the window. If you haven't noticed, this June has been unseasonably cold and rainy. We are now missing about 1/3 of our window. So, we cut a garbage bag in half and taped it over the hole. So, our living room looks very ghetto now. And that was the unplanned part of our adventure.

The Adventures of Last Night: Part One

Last night was pretty sweet. Some friends and I decided to make pizza. We made the dough and the sauce from scratch and put good things on it. Then we settled in to watch Jurassic Park, which I have never seen before.
It sounds really boring, but I promise it was fun and adventurous at the time. Anyway, that was our planned adventure. Stay tuned for the rest (the unplanned part).

Haagen-Dazs

I was at the store, and Haagen-Dazs ice cream was on sale for the same price as the regular ice cream. So I bought a package of Dark Chocolate ice cream. It was the smoothest, most delicious, most fattening ice cream I have ever tried. I highly recommend it.

Sad Day

My computer charger is broken. The wires snapped. This means that I can only use computers when I'm on campus.
On the one hand, I can't waste as much time anymore. On the other hand, I'm taking two online classes and now I can't work on them at home anymore.
It is a sad day.

Now you see me...

I was in Salt Lake this weekend. I came up last night for Julia's birthday. Unfortunately, due to my schedule and the bus schedule, I didn't get home until about 7:00. I came home and saw Julia and Josh for about five minutes, and then they both left, as did my parents.
So, I got to talk to John and Kristina for a while, and then my parents came home. My dad helped me figure out some things about my study abroad. I think he's almost as excited as I am, which is a good thing for me. I had planned on taking a cab or walking from the airport to my hotel. I figured England is a small island, so London couldn't be that big of a city. Wrong. Its population is more than double Utah's, and my hotel is 50 miles away from the airport. So, my new goal is to figure out London's bus system so I can get to my hotel without paying 70 pounds for a cab or walking 50 miles.
This morning I had my dad's waffles, which are delicious, and then went to the Oquirrh Mountain temple open house. It was beautiful. Sorry to everybody I missed while I was in Salt Lake and to those I only saw for five minutes. Don't miss me too much, though--I'm coming home in a week and a half.

Why...

...am I so forgetful? I opened a bank account a few weeks ago. I love the credit union I have always used, but it's in Salt Lake and I wanted to be able to access my money without making a special trip. When I opened the account, I also set up an online account with a username and password and created a PIN for my debit card. Fast forward a week.
I got my debit card in the mail, and decided I would also see if the online account works and if my PIN is somewhere online. Unfortunately, I somehow managed to forget my username, password, and PIN. However, I have a couple of base passwords, so I thought I would be OK. I tried several things, and then suddenly remembered what my password was. By then, however, my password had been disabled "for my security." OK, great. So I click on "My password has been disabled." The first thing it asks is for my PIN.
I don't know my PIN, so I guess. And guess again, and again, and so forth until I'm fairly certain that whatever I chose was completely random, and there was no good reason for my choice. It was definitely not something I remember. There is a link that says "I do not know my PIN", which I click. It takes me to a screen that says I should call a number and get help from a person.
So, I called the number. It instructs me to enter my account number, which I do. Next, it tells me to enter my PIN. I am stuck in a vicious cycle of non-PIN knowing.

Someday

I want to see the Milky Way. And see by only moonlight. Tonight I went for a walk with my roommate, and I looked at the sky and realized I have never done either of those things. I feel like such a city girl.

Dante's Inferno

I am reading Dante's Divine Comedy for one of my classes. Dante was a pretty bold guy. He wrote about the Inferno and populated it with real people who were his contemporaries, including at least three popes. There was even the soul of one person who was still alive when Dante published the Divine Comedy. According to Dante, this person's body stayed on earth, possessed by a demon, while his soul went straight to the Inferno. Also, Dante says Virgil and Homer welcomed him (Dante) into their ranks and called him one of the six greatest poets of all time.
Dante spent the latter part of his life in exile. I wonder what such a charming, modest person did to deserve such a fate?

THE lesson

There are certain stereotypes about BYU that I would really like to not believe. Today one of my bubbles was shattered. In Relief Society, the bishop taught the lesson. Now, I have had the awkward modesty and chastity lessons, but I had never before had a dating lesson.
He got up and told us that we need to flirt more. He also told us that we shouldn't sit next to our roommates in sacrament meeting because if there are young women sitting next to us, the young men can't sit next to us. Then he told us that we don't come to church just to listen to the lesson. We also are not at BYU to get an education, which is too bad, because education is pretty expensive and time-consuming. We apparently are here (at BYU and at church) so we can flirt and get married and have children. Sigh.
For the record, I am all for getting married and having children, and I definitely want that in my future sometime. I just don't want to be told in church that I need to flirt more and go on more dates, etc.
My only consolation is that it isn't just a BYU thing. Thank you Emma. We should form a support group sometime.

I promised Josh and Emma that I would blog about the date I had this weekend, which is the first date I have had since Christmas. Of course, Josh called me early this morning and I already told him about it, but here it is, recorded for posterity and anybody else who cares.
On Friday night Josh and Emma were coming down to Provo. My phone rang, and I assumed it was Josh, because he is the only person who ever calls me. So I answered the phone "Hallooooo?" with a weird accent because I thought it would be funny. "Uh...is this Rachel?" Rats. It is not Josh, or even one of my friends. Instead, it is Clint, a guy who was in my ward last year. He asked me to go on a group date with him the next night. I agreed, and he said he would pick me up at about 7:30. So far, so good.
I spent the day in Draper with my former roommate yesterday, and then she came back to Provo with me. We got back to my apartment at about 7:15, and I decided to go get ready a bit. Instead, there is a knock on the door. I sent Rebecca down to answer the door while I brushed my teeth, because nobody likes a date with bad breath. From downstairs, I hear "Are you ready to go?" Rebecca looks sort of similar to me, and Clint apparently thought she was me. So, I figured we were almost even for the way I answered the phone. She explained and I came down. I wasn't ready, but that's what happens when your date is 15 minutes early and you planned to spend 10 or 15 minutes on preparation.
We walked to his car, where he informed me that he doesn't believe in opening doors for girls. I happen to really like it when guys open doors for me, but no biggie, I guess. Also, all the other members of the "group" mysteriously couldn't make it. Suspicious. Anyway, we went to a theater about 2 miles from my apartment. We were half an hour early, so while we waited we talked. Clint was an interesting guy to converse with. Our conversation went about like this.
Me: So, what do you like to do?
Clint: I like to study.
Me: Oh. OK.
[pause]
So what are you doing this summer?
C: Writing a book on the plan of Salvation and memorizing True to the Faith.
Me: Oh. Wow. [pause] That's cool.
After some awkward conversation, we watched the show. It was an improv show called The Thrillionaires, and it was hilarious. The actors took suggestions from the audience, and then incorporated them into the show. For example, they would say, "I have a shady past. What does it involve?" Or "I am obsessed with something. What?" Well, one of the characters had some phobias--she ended up being afraid of monkeys, giraffes, and the dark. So I said, "What about you? What are you afraid of?"
"Sin."
OK, then. So most of our conversation went like that. It was a tiny bit awkward, and I felt like anything I said would sound really trivial in comparison to his responses. Fortunately, he didn't really ask me a lot about myself. When he did, I alternately tried to come up with the least trivial-sounding things I could and tried to make him laugh. I don't think I was very successful at either.
After the show, we got milkshakes, and then came home. At the doorstep, he gave me a side hug. It was awkward. Now, in his defense, I think Clint was probably trying too hard to seem spiritual and impressive. He was a really nice guy, and he chose a great activity. I had fun, and he probably seems a bit more normal as you get to know him better. And that was my date.

Highlights

I have had a fairly eventful week, by my standards. Of course, that's not saying too much, but I feel like I should blog about some of the highlights. I have been informed that my blog is boring, and this post will probably be even more so than usual, so consider yourselves warned.

• I spent last weekend in St. George and Zion's. My family picked me up on Friday and we went to In'N'Out Burger for dinner. Halfway through my burger, I realized it was pink to red in the middle and spent the next several days worrying about E. coli. However, the Mayo Clinic says healthy adults tend to recover on their own, and I don't have any symptoms, so life is good. :)
• Southern Utah is beautiful. I love red rock. Also, we went to Brigham Young's winter home, and he had fig, pomegranate, pecan and almond trees. I may have to live in St. George when I grow up.
• At Zion's, I got stuck climbing a 9 foot tall rock. I told the story to Josh, and he agreed that I am one of the ditziest people he knows.
• Three words: Mango ice cream. Try some, it's delicious.
• We played Bingo, and I won big money. Seriously, I won $2, and I feel rich.
• Back in Provo, I made "Amish" friendship bread. Amish is in quotes because the recipe calls for instant pudding, which I doubt is very Amish, but it was good. I am a fan of baking.
• Two book recommendations: The Thief by Meg Whalen Turner, which kept me up until 3:00 am reading, and Naked Economics by Charles Wheelan, which makes me feel ridiculously smart.
  
• Restaurant recommendation: Tucano's. Josh came down to Provo on Wednesday, and we went to Tucano's (good food, good service, good company) and played Frisbee. I ate sushi and chicken hearts. Good times.
• Incidentally, Wednesday was also the first time I intentionally skipped class (the last day of school or after AP tests doesn't count).
• I went to bed before 1:00 am for the first time in months. It was good, and I felt virtuous. It will probably not happen again for a while.
• I leave for Wales five weeks from today.

And that's my life in a nutshell.

In the News

I saw an awesome headline today: "Snake wasn't used as school jump rope". I don't know about you, but I definitely think this is newsworthy. In fact, I can count on one hand (maybe even no hands!) the number of snakes at my schools that were not used as jump ropes.
The actual article was quite disappointing, but if you want to read it, the address is
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30856215/

Dreams and Goals

Usually my goals are completely unrelated to my dreams. This is because usually my dreams are horribly disturbing and completely unrealistic. Finding myself the last survivor of all-out biological warfare or stuck in the middle of pitched battle, while definitely not what I want to do, are not the kind of things I need to make a goal about. The other night, though, I had a dream that actually led to a goal. In this dream, I had been kidnapped by a homicidal maniac. I had already tried several ways of escaping, but none succeeded. My kidnapper told me that if I tried to escape again he would kill me. Then one of my friends sneaked into the house where I was being held and told me to run. I decided to try it, so I ran out of the house, but the kidnapper chased me. I was running as fast as I could, but I got tired and slowed down and he caught up with me. He was going to kill me, and then I woke up.
The upshot of this is that I'm going to take up running so I can run away from all the homicidal maniacs Provo is so well-known for.

Mmmm

My roommates have embarked on a quest to make me more culturally aware. Therefore, we are watching movies like there's no tomorrow, and also eating really good food. I highly recommend frozen hot chocolate to anyone (and everyone). You take your hot chocolate mix and hot water, mix them together, and put them in the freezer for a few hours. It is amazing!

Uncomfortable

I don't handle other people's problems very well. When people tell me about the horrible things that have happened/are happening to them, I just don't know how to respond. Like this week one of my friends told me she probably has epilepsy and another (violin performance major) told me she has carpal tunnel. Sometimes "Sorry to hear that" or "can I do anything for you?" just doesn't cut it, but I don't know what else to say. So I end up coming off cold and heartless, which is not how I feel. :(

The dangers of Facebook

I read an article today about the threats inherent in facebook. Apparently Israeli security forces have determined that extremist Arab groups are using facebook and other social networking sites to recruit people to their cause and find spies. They (the Israeli security forces) have issued a warning to Israelis not to answer unsolicited requests for phone numbers or other personal information. My first thought when I read this was, Really? Extremist Arab groups use Facebook? My second thought was, Doesn't common sense tell people not to give your personal information to people you don't know? And if you are that kind of person, do you have enough common sense to listen to security warnings?

Bad signs

My computer is dying. I think I've already said this. The process is long and painful. The newest signs of its impending death:
It smells like burning sometimes when I turn it on.
Sometimes it gives me an error message and shuts down randomly.
The power cord gets ridiculously hot, and will only charge the computer if I hold it in a certain way.
Whenever I touch any of the jacks, like the internet jack, headphone jack, USB ports, etc. I get shocked. Based on that, it may not be my computer that dies. The shocks may get worse and I might beat it to the punch.

o_O

My hair is short now. As in, really short. As in, it hasn't been this short since I was about eight years old. Also, the first person who saw it told me he "prefers long hair". Then two minutes later he needed my help studying, so he came over and said "Your hair is already growing on me. Do you know how to do this?"

Spine

As you get to know me, you may realize that I am rather spineless. I have a ridiculously difficult time saying no to even the most ridiculous requests. This was re-brought to my attention yesterday.
First, there was a knock at the door. My roommate answered. A few minutes later, she came into the kitchen and told my other roommate and me to go talk to the people at the door. They were selling newspaper subscriptions to put themselves through college. If we would pay just $0.25 per day, they would be able to go to college, and they would give money to inner-city children.
The last time I encountered these people, I fell for their sob story. I wrote them a check, and proceeded to never see either my money or a newspaper. So this time, I was able to resist (that, and my other roommate was there backing up my refusal). I said no, then felt guilty about it for the rest of the evening.
While I was still feeling guilty, I was hit up with another request that I wanted to refuse. There is a midterm in one of my classes this weekend, and two other people in my ward are in the same section. They wanted to set up a study group and study for about four hours. I had planned on studying for this test for about twenty minutes. Due to my inability to say no, I will now be studying for four hours. Eventually I will get a spine. Until then, I'll be in the library studying Thucydides.

Pain

I bought flip-flops last week. I have somehow lived my entire life without ever wearing flip-flops, so I decided it was time to give in to the peer pressure and join the crowd.
Somehow, I had imagined that because almost everybody wears flip flops sometimes, and some people wear them all the time, they must be comfortable. I was wrong. They hurt between my toes, and wearing them has been akin to torture. Still, millions of people can't be wrong (famous last words) so I am determined to keep wearing them. Maybe if I break them in (or break in my feet) things will get better?

Happy

Today was a good day. I was officially accepted into the chemical engineering program.
Also, I didn't have class today. I love not having school on Friday. Instead of being productive, I bought food, so now I won't starve. Then I watched Mythbusters. Now I know that it is definitely possible to blow up your house with bug bombs if you don't follow the directions. And also that it is possible to find a needle in a haystack. And that a child couldn't be carried away by balloons at a carnival unless the balloon man had 3000 balloons and gave them all to the child at the same time. And that you can, in fact, raise a sunken ship by filling it with ping pong balls. It is a pretty cool show, and I recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen in.
And, if that wasn't enough, tomorrow I am going to have a free french toast breakfast. I feel a tad bit guilty about taking free food from businesses that are trying to promote themselves when I know that all I want is the food, but not bad enough to stop eating it.

Anti-social

I have come to the conclusion that I am naturally anti-social. I am working on overcoming my anti-social tendencies, but they are still there. And today I was reminded of why.
I was in my civilizations class, which is two and a half hours long, located in a windowless room that is completely white and gray. I do not get along very well with this class. Anyway, the teacher told us to discuss the relationship between freedom and happiness with our neighbors. I said that if you are free to act on the choices you make, you can be happy, assuming you make good choices. The guy I was talking to asked me for an example. I said that if I had been born in Iran or Saudi Arabia or somewhere like that, I wouldn't be free to choose my religion, what to study in school, or even to go to the store by myself.
Me: So it's probably easier for me to be happy here, where I do have those choices.
Him: Or harder for you to be happy.
Me: No, I think it's easier for me to be happy in America than it would be in Iran.
Him: It could be easier for women in those countries to be happy.
And this is why I don't talk to people.

Karma

I think I have bad karma. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe sometime somebody was starving and I took the last free roll that was being handed out, or something. Anyway, now every time I'm starving and I'm offered free food, it ends up being hot dogs. I hate hot dogs, and have hated them since I was three.
Today I went to institute for the first time. The main reason I went is that I had heard they would feed me dinner afterwards. I went, and then afterwards they had hot dogs. The last time I was offered a free meal, it was also hot dogs. The time before that, it was hot dogs.
And thus we see that I have bad karma.

Near Death Experience

I feel like a cheater for blogging this because I already told half or more of my blog's readership, but I didn't tell Emma, so here we go.
I had a near-death experience as I was coming to Salt Lake on Friday. This is because my bus driver was somewhat insane. (Aside: I am very grateful for bus drivers.) This particular bus driver was not a very good driver and seemed to have road rage issues. The first indication of this was when I was getting on the bus, and instead of pulling over to the side, he just stopped in the middle of the street.
As we drove on the freeway, he kept swerving around, which was frightening because buses were not built to swerve. The road rage issues also came into play here. He did not like it when other people were speeding, apparently. So, he kept abruptly slowing down, I guess to throw off tailgaters. I was thinking, "Oh, great. I'm not even wearing a seatbelt and I'm going to die! My family will hear about this on the news. I wonder who will tell my roommates? I'll never even be 20!"
This was bad enough, but I became even more frightened and started praying really sincerely when I looked up. The bus driver was reading a book, while he drove. Yes, you read that right. He was reading a book and driving at the same time. The book was spread open on top of the steering wheel. He would look at it, glance up, look back down, repeat.
So, if you never hear from me again after tomorrow, I probably had the same bus driver and he did get in an accident this time. I'll miss you all.

Compulsory

I have been informed by Josh, Emma, and Kristina that I need to blog. However, I have nothing to say, except that last week Tuesday was Raptor Awareness Day. As in velociraptors. We had a cool sign for our door that said, "This area is not safe in case of raptor attack" but I failed to take pictures. Which is why I did not mention this in an earlier blog. But I encourage you all to think about whether you would be safe in case of velociraptor attack. In the public service announcement vein, remember, either log out of your facebook account when you're done or password protect your computer. I hope you're happy now!

My last weekend as a teenager is coming up. If anybody has ideas about the wild and crazy things I need to do before I'm too old (as in 20), I am looking for suggestions. So far I have considered dying my hair bright green, going skydiving, and challenging people to a duel. Thanks!

Inbox

My inbox right now makes me really happy. This is because it contains two of the best emails ever written. One is actually probably more sad than great, but it makes me laugh. The background:
I am taking an online religion class, and the teacher is offering 25 points of extra credit to anyone who comes to meet him in person. We were supposed to email his secretary, and she would set up an appointment. So, I emailed his secretary (who is paid for her job). Her response was probably the least professional email I have ever received (and she was probably the only one who was ever paid to email me).
"Bro. Wright could meet with on Wed. April 29^th any time after 9:00 a.m. Let me know what would work 4 U.

[Name deleted to protect her identity]

Religious Education

Brigham Young University

[contact information deleted to protect her identity]"

The other email that makes me happy is actually great. First of all, my new favorite website is BYU Bookexchange, which allows people to completely bypass the bookstore and just buy and sell textbooks from other students. Yay! You don't actually get the other person's contact information except for their email address. This leads to some interesting email conversations, and then some interesting experiences. It kind of feels like a drug deal or something--"You bring the money, I'll bring the package, if you know what I mean." Anyway, please imagine the following story in black and white as an old detective movie or film noir.
This morning I was going to sell my stats book to somebody who I only knew as Ben. We had arranged to meet in the lobby of the library. I walked into the library and saw a guy sitting on a bench wearing sunglasses. He stood up with his wallet in hand as I walked towards him. "Joy?" I nodded. Then I realized that my name is not, in fact, Joy, and had to admit that, and I looked stupid.
I sat on the bench and started waiting. A few minutes later, another guy, who was also wearing sunglasses, came up. "Rachel?" I thought about it for a second, not wanting to make the same mistake. "Yes." He handed me money, I handed him the book, and we walked away.
That was pretty cool itself, but not quite as cool as my meeting that resulted from this email (see, I do remember what I was posting about).
Her: "can you meet me in the parking lot?"
Me: "Definitely."
Her: "I will be in a red pontiac grand am. I will pull up to the curb and just be near my car so you can find me."
Me: "I'll be wearing a yellow rose in my hair."
All right, so I made up my last line, but the rest were direct quotes. Don't even try to tell me that's not awesome. I love cloak-and-dagger stuff!

Pinata

My friends and I made a pinata last night. He was made out of balloons covered with gooey newspaper, just like in second grade. Then we covered him with tissue paper, gave him a Bob Marley hat, and named him Ross. Usually you're supposed to let pinatas dry for days, but the guys I was with didn't want to wait. So they sent my roommate and me to get our hair dryers, and we blow-dried Ross. Then came the moment of truth: they thought Ross was dry, and decided to stick a needle in him to pop the balloon.
Ross was not dry. The balloon was still supporting the papier mache, and Ross imploded. Not about to let a little detail like that stop us, we stuffed him with candy anyway and duct-taped him back together, then broke it open with a golf club. Good times.

Grateful

My last post was a bit whiny, so I thought I would balance it out with another post having some things for which I am grateful.
My computer is faster now than it was this morning. This is a big deal. I uninstalled a lot of programs that I don't really use and freed up about 10% of my computer's memory. The operating system and remaining programs still take up about 65-70% of the computer's memory, but it is a huge improvement. There is enough memory to run the internet, for example. Yay!
I found somebody to buy my stats book. This book is a paperback, about 500 pages long, but cost $110 used. I tried to sell it back to the bookstore, but they offered me $12, so I decided to try to find somebody else who would buy it for a more reasonable price (say $80-$90). And I found a buyer! Also, I found somebody who will sell me my econ textbook for $70 instead of the bookstore's $175. So, the buyer gets a cheaper price than the bookstore will give, and the seller gets more than 10% of the book's price. I love win-win situations.
The former occupants of my apartment left an awesome book by C. S. Lewis. I love C. S. Lewis. He is one of the most inspiring Christian writers ever. I hope to someday be half as insightful and amazing as he was. In the meantime, I will keep blogging and hopefully at least be mildly amusing.
Facebook offers a Welsh translation. My facebook is now in Welsh. This is seriously awesome. Of course, I don't really speak Welsh, so every time I click I am either guessing or trying to remember what the buttons said in English. I think I have already done some weird things, and will probably do more, but that's really not the point. The point is that my facebook is in Welsh.

Surprises

So, I moved into my new apartment, and finally got everything unpacked, or at least shoved into a convenient place from which it will never be unpacked. In the process of moving in and unpacking, I have received some interesting surprises.
First, the hot water heater is really, really good at heating up water.
Second, we have ants. All over the place. And they bite. But, it is easy to kill them by pouring hot water on them.
Third, the previous occupants are kind of strange. They are coming back in the fall, so they decided to leave a lot of their stuff here for storage, even though only one of them is paying rent. I probably shouldn't tell you stories about the kind of things they left. I will say only that I was mildly scandalized. Also, they didn't really clean very well before moving out, so tomorrow will be another cleaning day. Sigh. I thought I was done with serious cleaning. On the other hand, maybe my cleaning skills will improve and. . . OK, I can't really think of any advantages to having mad cleaning skills. But I'm sure there are some. Let me know if you think of any.

Embarassment

So, today I was eating peeps. Now, I don't particularly like peeps, but for some reason my mom thinks I love them, so she gave me some. I don't dislike them either, and I haven't unpacked my dishes, so when I was hungry I thought they would make a good snack.
There was a knock at the door. I went to answer it, and there stood my sort-of roommate and her boyfriend. I say sort-of roommate because she is paying rent but she will be in Europe the whole time I am here, so I will not actually be living with her. She had come to pick up some stuff she wants to take with her. I talked for a few minutes, but I always feel a bit awkward when I am with somebody and their boyfriend, so soon I went back upstairs to my peep-eating and left her to her thing-gathering.
About 30 seconds later, I realized that my fingers were stained blue from the peeps. I became suspicious and went to look in a mirror. Sure enough, my teeth and lips were stained blue too. So I looked pretty awesome when I answered the door. And I gave new meaning to bluetooth.

Giving In

Well, I finally gave into the peer pressure and started a blog. Thanks, Josh. Enjoy the power and try not to use it for evil. :)