So I received this lovely piece of spam today. For only a few hours a week, a bank account, and the ability to wire money out of my bank account, I can make $600-800 per week! Hurray!
Hello Rachel Reddoch,
Our company is currently looking for qualified individuals for an opening of a "Payment Assist Manager" that doesn't demand any special skills. The job will take only several hours a week. It's a great opportunity to get an extra-income before Holidays in a short time.
The general activity of this opening is to collect payments from our customers in the US.
Each fund transfer will be accompanied by detailed instructions.
Compulsory requirements:
- Age: at least 21;
- US citizeship;
- computer skills and e-mail address;
- at least 1-2 hours of free time per day for work business hours;
- Initiative and honesty.
- an account at any bank in the US;
- an ability to send Western Union trasfers;
Average profit is $600-$800 per week.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Shoe Date
So back before I met Jonathan, I was in a singles ward. And the leadership thought it would be a good idea to encourage dating, so they devised the idea of a shoe date. All the ladies in the ward who wanted to participate contributed a shoe. All the men who wanted to participate came and chose a shoe, and then were told to whom the shoe belonged. The idea was that the man would return the shoe and ask its owner on a date. So around February, I put my shoe into the pile with everyone else's and it was duly selected.
Everyone else in the ward began going on their shoe dates. The bishop would remind us every Sunday that people needed to go on their dates. As weeks turned into months, my shoe was not returned. Finally when the semester was two weeks away from ending, I decided that not being asked out was one thing, but having half of my favorite pair of shoes stolen was another. Our ward was the same as our apartment complex, so I recruited my roommates to go try to recover my shoe. They went and knocked on the doors of all the men in our ward. Eventually they found somebody who had seen my shoe in his roommate's room.
With my shoe recovered and the identity of my would-be date revealed, I decided I had to know why he had never asked me out, and also what he had planned on doing with my shoe. So once again I sent my roommates (cowardly, I know). They came back with the report that he had chosen my shoe because it was very cute, and once he found out it belonged to me, his plan was just to hold onto the shoe indefinitely because he couldn't return it without asking me out. Ouch. But hey, at least my shoes are cute.
Everyone else in the ward began going on their shoe dates. The bishop would remind us every Sunday that people needed to go on their dates. As weeks turned into months, my shoe was not returned. Finally when the semester was two weeks away from ending, I decided that not being asked out was one thing, but having half of my favorite pair of shoes stolen was another. Our ward was the same as our apartment complex, so I recruited my roommates to go try to recover my shoe. They went and knocked on the doors of all the men in our ward. Eventually they found somebody who had seen my shoe in his roommate's room.
With my shoe recovered and the identity of my would-be date revealed, I decided I had to know why he had never asked me out, and also what he had planned on doing with my shoe. So once again I sent my roommates (cowardly, I know). They came back with the report that he had chosen my shoe because it was very cute, and once he found out it belonged to me, his plan was just to hold onto the shoe indefinitely because he couldn't return it without asking me out. Ouch. But hey, at least my shoes are cute.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Patience is a Virtue
Once upon a time, I was trying to open two different Word documents at work. And my computer was being slow. So I clicked both documents several times, thinking it would help with the lack of responsiveness.
Or, you know, just open each document 15 times. Either way.
Or, you know, just open each document 15 times. Either way.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Microwave
So I found this link that tells readers, "prepare to be impressed." We're all going to learn 23 things you can do with a microwave. I thought it might be interesting, so I started reading.
To my surprise, the first six or so items included: Soften butter. Melt butter. Melt chocolate. Soften cream cheese. Honestly, that all sounds like one thing you can do with a microwave - heat things. Then it moved on (but not really). Did you know that you can also use a microwave to heat syrup, cook vegetables, and warm tortillas? Now you know!
Inspired, I decided to make my own list of 23 things you can do with a microwave. I have included it below for no charge, even though somebody got paid for the first list.
1. Cook hotdogs.
2. Heat leftover mashed potatoes.
3. Defrost chicken.
4. Defrost beef. (This totally counts as different, if melting and softening butter are different)
5. Melt cheese.
6.Heat hot fudge sauce.
7. Heat a frozen dinner.
8. Boil water for chicken broth.
9. Boil water for beef broth.
10. Heat water for hot chocolate.
11. Heat milk for hot chocolate.
12. Make a non-crispy cheese quesadilla.
13. Re-liquify honey that has crystallized.
14. Heat poptarts.
15. Make fettuccine.
16. Make spaghetti.
17. Make ravioli.
18. Make rigatoni.
19. Make angel hair pasta.
20. Heat marinara sauce.
21. Heat alfredo sauce.
22. Cook peas (they already covered artichokes, asparagus, beans, squash, and carrots, each in their own item. I can't believe they missed peas!).
23. Cook sweet potatoes.
To my surprise, the first six or so items included: Soften butter. Melt butter. Melt chocolate. Soften cream cheese. Honestly, that all sounds like one thing you can do with a microwave - heat things. Then it moved on (but not really). Did you know that you can also use a microwave to heat syrup, cook vegetables, and warm tortillas? Now you know!
Inspired, I decided to make my own list of 23 things you can do with a microwave. I have included it below for no charge, even though somebody got paid for the first list.
1. Cook hotdogs.
2. Heat leftover mashed potatoes.
3. Defrost chicken.
4. Defrost beef. (This totally counts as different, if melting and softening butter are different)
5. Melt cheese.
6.Heat hot fudge sauce.
7. Heat a frozen dinner.
8. Boil water for chicken broth.
9. Boil water for beef broth.
10. Heat water for hot chocolate.
11. Heat milk for hot chocolate.
12. Make a non-crispy cheese quesadilla.
13. Re-liquify honey that has crystallized.
14. Heat poptarts.
15. Make fettuccine.
16. Make spaghetti.
17. Make ravioli.
18. Make rigatoni.
19. Make angel hair pasta.
20. Heat marinara sauce.
21. Heat alfredo sauce.
22. Cook peas (they already covered artichokes, asparagus, beans, squash, and carrots, each in their own item. I can't believe they missed peas!).
23. Cook sweet potatoes.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Technology
Apparently George Lucas has just been sittting around waiting until there was enough technology to bring his original vision to life as seen in the following clip. After all, saying "Nooooo!" is a pretty advanced technique.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Thief
Once upon a time, there was a hypothetical person. This hypothetical person sometimes takes Trax home from work in the evenings. One evening, she arrived at the Trax station, ready to buy a ticket. However, that station would not take credit cards, and the ticket machine was apparently out of change, as it would not accept her $20 bill. So she dug through her purse and came up with $1.95. Unfortunately, a ticket costs $2.25. The ticket machine returned the money and informed her it was insufficient.
So this hypothetical person really needed to get home, and all her legitimate methods of payment had been rejected. So she got on the train without purchasing.
Now, Trax occasionally has police come by and check the tickets of every person on board. Those who are caught attempting to ride for free are fined $150, which is a lot to spend half an hour with people who smell of mold, smoke, or body odor. Determined to avoid this fate, our hypothetical ride thief kept a weather eye out for any police-looking people waiting at the stations. The plan? As soon as police get on, get off and walk to the next compartment over. The police switch compartments at each stop, so an enterprising rider will only have to switch twice (at most). Despite this brilliant (if somewhat unethical) plan, during her entire hypothetical 35 minute journey, the ride thief was paranoid and frightened, and it was with great relief that she reached her station. Nobody even attempted to check her nonexistent ticket. Moral: Crime pays.
So this hypothetical person really needed to get home, and all her legitimate methods of payment had been rejected. So she got on the train without purchasing.
Now, Trax occasionally has police come by and check the tickets of every person on board. Those who are caught attempting to ride for free are fined $150, which is a lot to spend half an hour with people who smell of mold, smoke, or body odor. Determined to avoid this fate, our hypothetical ride thief kept a weather eye out for any police-looking people waiting at the stations. The plan? As soon as police get on, get off and walk to the next compartment over. The police switch compartments at each stop, so an enterprising rider will only have to switch twice (at most). Despite this brilliant (if somewhat unethical) plan, during her entire hypothetical 35 minute journey, the ride thief was paranoid and frightened, and it was with great relief that she reached her station. Nobody even attempted to check her nonexistent ticket. Moral: Crime pays.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sleep Talk: Part Many
Because Jonathan keeps talking in his sleep, and because I continue to find it amusing, I'm going to keep sharing it with you.
Anyway, the other night Jonathan and I were both asleep when he rolled over and started talking, partly waking me up. "This is my bed."
"What?"
"It's my bed."
I was still half-asleep and in no mood to argue, so I went and slept on the couch until Jonathan woke me up by yelling, "Where are you? Why aren't you here?"
Anyway, the other night Jonathan and I were both asleep when he rolled over and started talking, partly waking me up. "This is my bed."
"What?"
"It's my bed."
I was still half-asleep and in no mood to argue, so I went and slept on the couch until Jonathan woke me up by yelling, "Where are you? Why aren't you here?"
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